How to prepare for sodomy?

Our advices – Melisande de Bimbojam

These erogenous zones that we do not know!

We all know our erogenous zones. But what we don't know is that we've never finished waking them up for new sensations and that… we have others, hitherto discreet, which could well make us go to the curtains tomorrow! Exploration. Both men and women have so-called primary erogenous zones (in men, the penis, the testicles, the P-spot, in women, the breasts, vulva, clitoris, vagina, etc.). These areas make everyone agree: they are innervated, sensitive, and to the touch, they provide pleasure. Only, discovering your body does not stop there! There are also secondary, more personal erogenous zones, which wake up according to a personality, a moment, a partner, a fantasy... Some will love having their toes tickled, others will ignite during a caress on their belly. And if we are all endowed with primary erogenous zones, we all have secondary zones to explore. In other words, we never finished getting to know each other! Between the areas already traveled which hide new pleasures and those which we have never approached… ecstasy is not far away! Walk in erogenous zones We know each other, we know our partner, and we often have fun according to our criteria. Taking an already known route is fine, it's our “erotic base”. But to discover new erogenous zones and therefore new sensations, let's bet on two points: sensuality and softness. Very long preliminaries will be essential to get out of our usual caresses and dare to venture (whether alone or in pairs). Once the excitement rises, that everyone surrenders, we caress each part of the body of the other and we invite him to do the same. Another invitation to sensuality: massage! We settle comfortably in bed, we choose an atmosphere that we like and we start with a massage. No need to think about the sexual relationship that will follow: it is not the goal and it prevents us from living the present moment. We rather take the time to discover the body of the other, from his back to his torso, from the crook of his elbow to his neck, from his crotch to his buttocks... An infinite time in front of us, without pressure, in an erotic context . Awakening your erogenous zones: tips Passing his hand over a forearm… okay? Touch is an art! And to wake up an erogenous zone, let's touch differently! We use the pulp of our fingers for maximum shivers, we grip or slightly pull out our nails for a slightly wilder hold...  We change approach, method! And also rhythm. Faster, slower, we alternate. Without forgetting to use our mouth, very sensitive, moist, warm, which allows us to approach the corners of our partner's body in a different way. Finally, vibrating sex toys can be real “engines”. Your myPleasure will be the perfect companion. Specially designed to stimulate your intimacy or that of your partner, it will vibrate on all the erogenous parts of your body with such power that certain corners of your anatomy will awaken. Communicate with your partner He touches us, we touch him… To discover our own erogenous zones but also those of our partner, let's listen to each other and don't hesitate to communicate! When you go through your partner's body, pay attention to his reactions, his breathing, the expression on his face… You will then understand if you are on the right track. Just as he will observe you while caressing you: tell him via sounds, sighs... and that you like it. And then, the words remain quite useful in addition to this non-verbal language. “I love it, try again”… By communicating, we make the trip even more surprising, we venture together, as a couple, into new terrain.

Our advices – Mister Ose

MASTURBATION: TABOOS, PREJUDICES AND GOOD PRACTICES

Through my work, I receive a lot of questions related to masturbation and I realize that this practice is much more taboo than we think while being stuffed with prejudices, which does not help to move forward on the question. Today, I suggest that you dispel preconceived ideas to redefine the vision that we have of this solitary practice at the start (but which can very well be part of life as a couple) and to go through the best ways to masturbate, including through the use of lubricant . Is masturbation normal? The answer is yes ! Yes 100%! The same way it's OK not to masturbate. Indeed, not everyone feels the desire or the need. This non-envy can present itself punctually or over the longer term. Anyway, it is important to ignore the injunctions to tend towards more respect for oneself. Masturbation is a privileged moment and many people make the mistake of comparing it with a relationship between two people. We can never repeat it enough: the pleasure taken is different, the feeling is different, the mechanics and the desire are also different. Indeed, most of the time and by way of example, it requires less energy. You just need to be tired or have a heavy mental load for this desire to take over. Also, masturbation allows you to give yourself a moment of pleasure the way you want and at the pace you want. I assure you, there is absolutely nothing wrong with preferring masturbation to sex from time to time. It is simply human and many of us think this way. Also, it is important to note that masturbation is not synonymous with betrayal or dissatisfaction or deception. It is part of the time we take for ourselves in the same way as reading or leisure time, for example. Beyond that, it allows you to reconnect with your body, to get to know it and to feel it. In addition, she can be a good ally when you experience a discordance of libido within the couple, but also a game partner for two! Eh yes ! You can very well share a moment of pleasure by masturbating in front of each other or by masturbating each other. Masturbating with lube: the guide The benefits of masturbating with lube Using lubricant makes masturbation smoother and more enjoyable. In addition, it helps reduce pain in case of dryness in the intimate area. It is therefore essential to choose a good lubricant to apply to the genitals to achieve unparalleled pleasure. As such, I particularly recommend the Glisse Sensuelle lubricating gel from Goliate. In addition to having a long-lasting effect, it is organic, vegan and 100% French! A must have made with more than 99% natural ingredients! In short, everything we love! Penis masturbation with lube For a successful penis masturbation, do not hesitate to pour a dab of lubricant in the palm of your hand. You can, according to your affinities, add a little more for an increased feeling of sliding. Then, apply it over the entire length of the penis, from the base to the top of the glans. The lubricant will heat up quickly by the back and forth movements that you will exercise. For even greater pleasure, do not hesitate to make slow and ample movements for long minutes by sliding your penis in your hand. You can also dwell on the glans + brake combo to vary the pleasures. When masturbating, do not hesitate to add lubricant whenever you see fit. The sensations generated by the glide and the humidity provided by the lubricant will be even better! Finally, be aware that water-based lubricants are also compatible with sex toys (unlike silicone-based lubricants which are to be avoided with toys that are also made of silicone!). If you have some available and if the desire is present, do not hesitate to use them to make this moment unique! Clitoris masturbation with lube For clitoral masturbation full of pleasure, pour a dab of lubricant on your fingertips and gently apply it to your clitoris in circular motions. In this way, you will also lubricate part of the vulva and avoid irritation linked to friction if you masturbate with your fingers. If you have an appetite for penetrative masturbation, you can also put a little lubricant inside the vagina to stimulate the G-zone or any other area likely to give you pleasure (you know yourself better than anyone, do you trust!). Finally, know that you can also use the sex toy of your choice - a clitoral stimulator for example - to increase the pleasure felt or if you simply want to take pleasure with less effort (sex toys are also there for that and we're not going to complain about it!). The precautions to take Since your hands are in contact with the private parts, remember to wash them properly with soap and warm water before your masturbation session. If you use lubricant, despite its 100% natural composition, always remember to test it beforehand on an area of ​​your skin (excluding the intimate area) to make sure that you are not allergic to it. Normally, there shouldn't be a problem, but you can never be too careful. Finally, consider filing your nails to avoid injury, especially if you plan to use your fingers for penetration. As you will have understood, masturbation is a very healthy and very pleasant practice. Masturbation with lube is even better! So don't hesitate to use it, even during your intercourse to make it even more pleasant, more fluid and less painful for some of you!

Our advices – Mister Ose

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO DEEP SPOT

The female body is made up of many erotic and erogenous zones. Today, focus on an exclusively female area that offers intense pleasure to many people when stimulated, I named the Deep Spot. G-spot, A-spot, Deep Spot: How to find your way around? The female anatomy is full of sensitive and very innervated areas which can, in many people, provide countless pleasures, all as different as each other. Only, it is sometimes difficult to navigate as their names may seem vague. Follow the guide, I explain everything from A to Z. The point G The G-Spot was named after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg who discovered it in the 1950s. Recently, this famous Point G was renamed Zone G because a 2022 study suggests that it would be composed of five distinct erogenous regions. These are located about two phalanges from the entrance to the vagina, on the anterior wall, in the direction of the bladder. It is also possible to identify this area by its rough texture, by placing your fingers in a hook up. Point A or Deep Spot Point A and Deep Spot… it's exactly the same thing, and it's the subject that interests us today. He means a area to situating Also In THE vagina, but GOOD deeper than Zone G, near the cervix to be exact. Rich in nerve endings, it would trigger multiple and intense orgasms in many people when stimulated. For this, it is necessary to appreciate the penetration, which is deeper (editor's note: I take this opportunity to remind you that penetration is not compulsory during a report and that it is possible to take pleasure from many others manners). How to find the Deep Spot? Located at the very bottom of the vagina, it is identifiable by its consistency which is softer to the touch than the vaginal wall. It is also important to note that it is very sensitive to pressure. Also, if you stay tuned to your body and the sensations it gives you, you will be able to identify it without too much difficulty. To do this, do not hesitate to take the time. It may seem obvious at first glance, but our daily lives are punctuated by many tasks, we can tend to forget to slow down. Sexuality is no exception to this rule and it is sometimes necessary to take time for yourself in order to (re)appropriate your body. When one wishes to discover new pleasures as is the case here, it is extremely important to be able to identify each sensation, whatever it may be. By practicing this introspection regularly, it becomes easier to get to know yourself and thus, to better understand your desires and, a fortiori, your needs. What are the sensations it provides? Each body being different, the sensations can vary from one person to another. Its stimulation can, in some women, be sufficient on its own as the point is sensitive. For others, add a clitoral stimulation will be necessary to increase this pleasure. Finally, it is important to note that these sensations can also be unpleasant. If this is the case, do not hesitate to change position before repeating the experiment. If it doesn't change how you feel, don't insist. Once again, sexuality is rich enough to be able to give pleasure without necessarily stimulating the Deep Spot. How to stimulate it? : Tips and Tricks The deep spot can be stimulated alone or in pairs. In solo, you can go for Point A if you have long fingers. Otherwise, you can use a sex toy to reach it more easily. In this regard, I advise you to use fairly long toys like the rabbit vibrator MyPleasure Plus (this can give you clitoral pleasure in addition to helping you reach the Deep Spot) or any other sex toy, vibrating or not, at least 8 cm long. In a duo, your partner can also use their upward curled fingers, a toy, or their penis. Note that certain positions facilitate its stimulation. Among them: the greyhound, the andromache, the Amazon and its variants or the anvil. Note also that sodomy can also stimulate the deep spot indirectly if you are a fan of anal sex. The precautions to take to stimulate the Deep Spot Whatever the practice to which one devotes himself, it is advisable to take precautions to limit the risks. Since Point A is in a very sensitive area, it is important first of all to gently stimulate it (at least initially) in order to avoid pain as much as possible. Also, if you have sex with a casual partner, remember to protect yourself! The best solution is still the condom. Note that you can obtain it free of charge from pharmacies with a simple prescription from your doctor. Finally, if you stimulate the Deep Spot, don't forget to wash your hands properly beforehand if you use your fingers and/or to wash your sex toys with a suitable product. I hope these few tips have helped you to see more clearly about this erogenous zone that is the Deep Spot. And don't forget, if you're not fond of penetration, non-penetrative sex is also full of practices that are sure to offer you tasty pleasures.

Our advices – Maëlle Marchandon

13 Tips to Take Care of Your Sex

Taking care of your penis is an integral part of sex life, and yet we are rarely taught how to do it. Unfortunately, the vulva is more sensitive than the penis to inconveniences such as urinary tract infections, or flora imbalances... But hygiene rules apply to everyone! A few practical tips can ensure good hygiene while avoiding most difficulties. Take care of her vulva To wash your penis: Wash your vulva once a day, but be careful, only the external part! The vagina is self-cleaning, you should never put water or soap internally, at the risk of completely unbalancing your flora. What product to use? The ideal is to use a gentle cleansing care (without soap, without perfume) or simply clear water, according to your preference. Even if it is not necessary to buy specialized products (which are expensive and often contain perfume), avoid all the same the ultra-scented shower gels of the trade. A gentle washing care from a drugstore is ideal. Wash, yes, but not too much: wash your vulva once a day, no more! Too frequent washing can unbalance your flora. If you feel the need for refreshment during the day (for example, when you have your period) you can rinse with clear water, but without adding any product or soap. Dry your vulva well after showering, to avoid trapping moisture in this sensitive area. Wipes and deodorants are to be avoided! In addition to being useless, they are often harmful. Some advice in your sexuality Everything that comes in contact with your vulva must be clean: hand washing (/ of sextoys, penises, etc.) is compulsory before masturbation or sex. We do not go from the anus to the vulva: the anus and the rectum contain bacteria which must never come into contact with this area, at the risk of causing inconveniences such as vaginosis, mycosis or even a urinary infection. . This also applies to a passage from the anus (external) to the vulva (external), even if there has been no penetration. On the other hand, doing the opposite does not cause any problem! Go pee after sex: this reduces the risk of urinary tract infection, by removing all the small bacteria that could have lodged in your urethra. Tips for everyday life: drink plenty of water and prefer cotton underwear. With or without hair? The bristles are hygienic: they form a barrier that slightly reduces the risk of infection. The decision to keep them or remove them should depend on your desires and preferences. Bonus: look at your vulva in a mirror! This area of ​​the body is often neglected, yet getting to know yourself better is an integral part of sexual fulfillment. If you feel comfortable with this, take a small mirror (or the selfie camera of your cellphone), and look at your vulva trying to locate the different elements: clitoris, urethral meatus, inner lips ("small labia ), outer lips (“labia majora”), entrance to the vagina. Help yourself with an illustration in case of doubt. Take care of his penis Wash your penis: it should be cleaned thoroughly every day. The penis is generally less sensitive to imbalances in the flora than the vulva, so it is quite possible to use soap or shower gel to wash, even if a mild cleansing treatment remains ideal. If you don't have had a circumcision operation, don't forget to retract your penis to wash your glans. The scrotum (skin around the testicles) and anus should also be cleaned carefully. Touch your testicles: Testicular cancer is very treatable if detected early. And the best way to spot it quickly is to feel your testicles regularly! Once a month, in the shower with soapy water, use one hand to hold your testicles, and the other to feel them in search of an anomaly: small hard lump under the skin, pain, swelling... If in doubt, go quickly to consult your general practitioner. Take care of your partners: Certainly, the penis is less sensitive than the vulva to infections and imbalances. But a lack of hygiene on your part could cause an inconvenience to your partner. Taking care of your sexual health also means thinking about others by having good hygiene, providing condoms in your size, learning about what could create a problem for your partner, and consulting at the slightest signal. alert. Find the right condom: A condom that is too tight can cause loss of sensation, and a condom that is too loose is more likely to slip off during sex. A good condom fits snugly, but not too tight. If you have any doubt about your size, you can go to this website . Taking care of your sex is also... Accept its scent: The vulva and penis do not smell like roses and that's normal! As long as your hygiene is good and your smell doesn't suddenly change, there's nothing to worry about. Consult at the slightest alert: Unusual discharge, appearance of a small lump, itching, sudden change in the smell of your penis, plaques, pain, strange discharge… Any unusual signal should lead you to quickly consult your general practitioner. Most difficulties and inconveniences can be resolved easily if they are taken care of correctly. In case of problem, avoid "home remedies": Many people try to treat yeast infections or vaginosis with outlandish remedies (like putting yogurt or garlic in the vagina!). Result: more often than not, the situation worsens. Ask your doctor or gynecologist for advice before trying anything out of the ordinary to solve your problem, and don't forget that traditional medical treatments (eggs, antibiotics, etc.) are the most effective and the most sure! Protect yourself from STIs: STIs are unfortunately on the rise due to a drop in the use of protections. Using condoms and getting tested regularly are the two best ways to protect yourself! I hope these few tips will help you take care of your sex with ease.

Our advices – Mister Ose

DIRTY TALK: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE

According to an Australian study conducted in 2015 by Professor Peter Jonason and his team and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 92% of people questioned talk during sex. But what is Dirty Talk? What is it exactly? Focus today on this practice that raises the temperature! Dirty Talk: Definition Dirty Talk refers to a practice of pronouncing more or less daring words or phrases during sexual intercourse. Even if initially the Dirty Talk is associated with exclusively raw words, the scientists through their study have identified 8 major themes allowing them to be categorized. And as you will see, there is something for everyone! The 8 categories of Dirty Talk 1. First, we find the category of intimate ties. In other words, it is about the sentences pronounced during the act which have an affective link. Examples: " I love you more than anything ! », « I find you really beautiful… », « I love making love with you ». 2. Second category, words or phrases called “reflexes”; these words spoken without our realizing them. Examples: " Oh yes ! ", " Again ! Keep on going ! ", " It's good ! » 3. The third theme identified by the researchers concerns fantasies. As its name suggests, it is about verbally materializing our personal and/or common fantasies. Examples: "Imagine if someone surprised us", "Imagine being watched fucking", "Imagine that there are two of us taking care of you". 4. Fourth category: encouragement. No need for a drawing, it's about the sentences you say to encourage your partner to continue what they have started. Examples: “Please keep it up! », « Don't stop, it's perfect! » 5. In number 5, we find the instructions. Examples: “Go harder! Faster ! », « Take me from behind », "Hang on to my hair" 6. The sixth theme concerns possession. These are phrases that are spoken in order to accentuate the feeling of belonging. Examples: " You're mine ! ", " You belong to Me… " 7. The penultimate point refers to dominance and words that can sound like commands. Examples: "Do Exactly What I Tell You", "Lick Me/Suck Me" 8. Finally, the last theme concerns submission. Unlike domination, this allows you to offer great freedom to your partner. Examples: "Do what you want with my body", "Do what you want with me". How to practice Dirty Talk correctly? Before playing with words, it is essential to discuss them beforehand with your partner. You can schedule a time dedicated to this discussion by cutting off all sources of distraction (telephone, television, etc.) and talk openly about your affinities in this area. During a report, do not embark on an improvisation that could undermine this moment of sharing if you have not taken the time to discuss it. Indeed, before embarking on this path, it is important to ensure that the desire is shared. This can be punctual or, on the contrary, be part of your long-term desires. Also, don't forget to discuss your respective limits, whether it's about the sentences or the words spoken. While dirty talk can be arousing, it can also kill the urge if you don't use the words wisely. Once this framework is properly defined, you can let your imaginations do the rest. The Dirty Talk in Sex Life The power of words is sometimes underestimated. And while it can raise the temperature in bed (or elsewhere) during sex, it can also help raise arousal before the act. For example, nothing prevents you from sending sexts to your partner during the day, just before meeting them in the evening to give them a taste of what could await them when they get home. Dirty talk also allows you to access a more liberated part of yourself, sometimes even wilder or even more animal if you decide to venture into the field of raw words. Whatever your personality, there will always be words that resonate with you more than others. What if I don't have a particular affinity with Dirty Talk? It is not an end in itself. It is not a sine qua non condition to live and share a moment of pleasure with someone. Indeed, some people express their pleasure in ways other than words. It is also possible to communicate with your partner non-verbally: by breathing, moaning, looking or even by gestures. Don't worry if you don't have a particular affinity with this practice, you will always find a way to make your other half understand how much you appreciate this moment. Precautions to take during the Dirty Talk If there is one precaution to take when practicing dirty talk, it is to avoid falling into clichés or even disrespecting others. The practice requires desire (and as with everything in sexuality, the consent of one's spouse) and listening before and during intercourse. Do not hesitate either to make regular updates by organizing moments of discussion because, it is said too little, everyone's desires can evolve in one direction or another over time. And it's completely natural! In addition, if certain fears or reluctance persist, you can very well start this practice gently, by drawing ideas from the category of intimate ties, reflex phrases or encouragement. When you feel more comfortable, you can take it up a notch and try other things if you want. I hope these tips for Dirty Talk have answered your questions on the subject. And don't forget: what matters above all is to be yourself!

Our advices – Mister Ose

SEXTING: THE ART OF RAISING THE TEMPERATURE

In the “all-digital” era, sexting takes a significant place in our daily lives and is part of our lives. Whether you exchange sexts with an occasional partner or within your couple, the primary objective is to raise the tension. But for a conversation to be successful, it is important to respect a few rules of use. Follow the leader ! What is sexting? Sexting is the exchange of sexts; in other words, the exchange of messages of a sexual nature between two people. It can be a simple message, a spicy conversation or even photos or videos. For many, it helps to bring out the desire before a meeting or to maintain a state of tension in the relationship. Indeed, sending a sext is not only reserved for people present on dating sites, or for young people. This practice can totally fit into the life of a couple and provide pleasure both to the person who sends it and to the partner who receives it. The 4 important steps of sexting: Step 1: Consent First of all - and I insist on this point - it is essential to exchange your consents. Exchanges of sexts involve the sharing of explicit content, and transmitting messages, photos or videos of a sexual nature without consent is punishable by two years in prison and a fine of €60,000. Once this step is done, do not hesitate to give free rein to your respective imaginations. Step 2: Discuss your desires For once, communication is key. If you are already in a relationship, you may already know your partner's affinities and this is a good thing. However, keep in mind that these (just like yours) may evolve and change over time. Also, if you do not feel comfortable sharing your sexting desires orally, the written format is for many a preferred means of communication. It allows many people to communicate more easily. If, on the other hand, you have only just met your partner, do not skip this moment of exchange. Step 3: Choose your preferred mode(s) of communication In writing, via a voice note, in image or video, there is something for everyone! Even if they each have their own particularity, these different forms of sexting allow you to vary the pleasures. For some, the written form is more comfortable because the words can stand on their own, while for others, “a picture is worth a thousand words”. Anyway, it is very important to choose your exchange platform carefully by favoring those that allow the sending of ephemeral messages if you do not know (or little) your gaming partner. Among the best known are WhatsApp, Snapchat or Messenger. Step 4: Be yourself! We may tend to forget it, but the objective of sexting is not to judge your partner or to judge yourself, whether on form or on substance. No, above all, sexting allows you to share your attraction, especially sexual, and your desire for others. Only, not everyone knows how to go about it or is not comfortable with this practice. If so, nothing is stopping you from exploring the world of sexting step by step. Indeed, you are not obliged to reveal everything (immediately, or at all). Also, do not hesitate to use your strengths. I assure you, everyone has them, even if you think otherwise. Sexting in the couple If you are currently in a relationship, perhaps you feel a form of routine settle into your daily life. I assure you, it's completely normal and many people go through bad times in their relationship. Also, even if we don't always make this connection naturally, love and sexting go together perfectly. Sexting, when practiced with the loved one, makes it possible to strengthen emotional ties, to increase complicity but also to (re)awaken a sometimes dormant desire. This is one of the main strengths of these exchanges. Indeed, the asynchronous format of this type of discussion awakens envy and libido in us while boosting our imagination. You can also seize this opportunity to share with your half your (or your) fantasy of the moment. Whether it's directly or through a game of innuendo, sexting offers an incredible space for expression. It even allows some couples to reconnect with a form of communication which, in many ways, can be very positive. Finally, sexting makes it possible to create surprise at unexpected times. Receiving a burning message at the office, when you are far from each other or during a family meal can have its small effect! Now that sexting has no more secrets for you, all you have to do is jump into the deep end and send that first sext! Remember that what matters above all is mutual respect. One wrong word and you risk jeopardizing this moment of sharing. To remember all the points discussed above, I'll give you a little mnemonic: "It's like you" (CECOMVOUS) C for Consent, E for Desire, COM for Communication, YOU as "be yourself". SO ? Ready to try the experience?

Our advices – Alexandra

Stop the moments of embarrassment: we eroticize the condom

Fateful moment, moment that breaks everything... Putting on a condom is not always glamorous, but it is nevertheless essential! Tips to turn this awkward moment into an erotic moment. Eroticizing the condom, it takes preparation! Tip n°1: the condom at hand As soon as you do not know the state of health of your partner, the use of a condom is essential. So we start by having it on us and… close at hand. We thus avoid a long embarrassing pause (and that I return my drawers, and that I panic in the bathroom…). Within reach, it also means that you gently place the condom on the bed or the pillow so as not to have to “break the relationship in two”. Thus, when we want to put it, we will catch it discreetly. Fluid gesture, fluid report! Tip n°2: we talk to each other (like pigs) The idea is to grab the hood while continuing our momentum: a few caresses and especially sweet or dirty words (since our hands are slightly taken). By murmuring “I want you”, or even “I want you”, we stay in the mood. Grabbing the condom and putting it on against a backdrop of erotic words, that perfectly accompanies the gesture without breaking the excitement. It is now…. ! Tip #1: We don't have to look at each other! If we barely know each other, we can decide not to look at each other. If it is the man who puts on the condom, he can sit astride the woman lying on her stomach. Thus, he continues to caress her buttocks and in two and a half seconds, it's done! If it is the woman who puts on the condom while she prefers not to meet her partner's gaze, she can stand behind the man who sits on the edge of the bed. With (and after) a few kisses on the neck, voila. Tip #2: don't stand idly by If the condom moment is not always the most glamorous, it's because we tend to stop (are you okay otherwise?). However, we can remain in control (in this case mistress) of the game: when Mr. puts on the condom, Mrs. can caress (supra exciting). If she puts him on, why not dare fellatio at the same time? We kiss his penis, we put the condom on... And after ? It's finish ? Not that much. It's true, once the report is over and you remove the condom, the embarrassment flies away. However, we can discuss it. Ask yourself if you liked the warming or textured effect. If we felt confident, if we didn't feel burnt or otherwise… It's quite simple but this post-act exchange helps to de-dramatize the use of condoms. Or how we prepare the ground for the next time!

Our advices – Alexandra

The perineum, or how to intensify your orgasms. Simple and efficient !

The perineum is an area of ​​skin made up of muscles and ligaments that takes the shape of a hammock. It is located between the genitals and the anus. The perineum is a fragile area which is generally taken care of very little. Most women only hear about the perineum after childbirth, when perineal re-education is needed. For some men, they only become aware of it during a prostate operation. However, strengthening the perineum has several advantages, such as: weight loss, preparation for childbirth, increased orgasmic pleasure and also delaying premature ejaculation. In addition, its toning can be done at any age. This part of the body is an area that plays a crucial role in the anatomy and sexuality of individuals. In women, it closes the abdomen and supports a number of organs in the lower abdomen. While in men, it includes the end of the digestive tract and part of the urinary and genital tracts. This area contains vital blood vessels that send blood to the genitals and nerve endings send sexual messages to the brain. Why do you need to strengthen the perineum? Issues related to sexuality In the intimacy of the two partners, the perineum allows you to have a fulfilling sexuality and contributes to the increase of sensations. If it is not firm enough, the woman is less likely to feel the penis, which means less pleasure during penetration. On the contrary, a well-muscled perineum promotes compression and ascension of the clitoris, as well as vascularization . As far as men are concerned, the perineum is just as important, because the contraction of the perineal muscles makes it possible to boost the inflow of blood into the cavernous bodies of the penis, which increases sexual arousal and guarantees erection rigidity . Moreover , it is filled with nerve endings, which makes it a particularly erogenous zone . For such a small surface of skin, the perineum can provide a lot of pleasure, taking care of it then represents a considerable complement in sexual life. Health issues A deficient perineum increases the risk of contracting what is called organ prolapse or descent, as well as perineal hypotonia. It's when the woman feels like she's gaping . On the other hand, perineal hypertonia is more and more frequent, it is the involuntary contraction of the muscles, which makes penetration difficult . For a man, it can be the cause of uncontrolled and too fast ejaculations. Besides, it helps maintain gas and bowel movements. Before and after childbirth Childbirth has negative impacts on the perineum, because the load imposed on the latter increases. This causes a relaxation and a decrease in pleasure at the time of the act. This is also the cause of the occurrence of urinary leakage. However, all these problems can be easily solved, thanks to perineal rehabilitation. However, it is best to learn how to tone it during pregnancy, in order to soften it, which will make it easier for the baby to come out. How to strengthen your perineum? There are several exercises that can strengthen your perineum. The elevator Put yourself in a lying or sitting position, and imagine that your perineum is a 4-story elevator. Gradually go up contracting the perineum a little more for each floor to be reached, while pausing when you have reached each floor. The contraction of the perineum provides a sensation that will go up towards your sternum or your chest. 1st stage: contract the muscles of the perineum for 1 second, pause and release gently; 2nd stage: contract for 2 seconds, trying to raise the pelvic floor (perineum), towards the top of the body then release slowly; 3rd stage: contract the muscles of the perineum, raising it a little further for 3 seconds, then gently release; 4th stage: contract one last time for 4 seconds and release slowly. The half bridge This is a yoga posture that helps strengthen the perineum. To do this, it is necessary to stay Lie on your back, arms along your body, legs bent and feet flat on the floor. Then take a deep breath in contracting the perineum while squeezing the buttocks and pressing down on your feet to tilt the pelvis. Finally, it's necessary Lift your buttocks off the ground by blowing for 10 seconds, then gently lower your back, unrolling your spine vertebra after vertebra. Simple daily exercises Indeed, there are simple exercises that you can perform anywhere, such as at the office, at home...During the day, remember to regularly contract your perineum for 5 seconds, then release, redo this movement ten times in a row. However, it should be noted that all exercises should be performed with an empty bladder. Otherwise, they could lead to a urinary tract infection. Finally, do not hesitate to use the famous Kegel Balls, the ideal companion to strengthen your perineum effortlessly. The perineum and sexual pleasure In the woman According to Jean Bourdin, physiotherapist and sexologist , if the perineum is well muscled, this will lead to the lubrication of the vulva, because the Bartholin glands will be emptied more easily. Moreover, its contraction reduces the vaginal orifice and tightens a third of the external part of the vagina, which will keep it firm. This promotes increased vaginal contractions and will allow more intense orgasmic pleasure, a virtuous circle beneficial for sexuality. At men's You should know that the prostate is located two inches from the rectal canal. However, stimulation of the perineum allows indirect access to it. Besides This is a particularly erogenous zone for men, as the muscles become engorged with blood during sex, so this is the best time to explore it. Whatever your gender, stimulating this area could be a great addition to your sex life, as the perineum is rich in sensitive nerve endings. Everyone is sensitive to it to some degree. Regardless of your gender, there's a range of pleasures you may have yet to explore.

Our advices – Alexandra

The prostate, this organ of pleasure that wants you good!

The prostate is an elementary organ for the male gender. Located in the male reproductive system, it plays a major role in reproduction. Its mission is to secrete a fluid allowing the formation of the seminal fluid which transports the spermatozoa. In order to keep it healthy, there are specific but simple techniques. One can, for example, practice a massage. A prostate massage refers to a kind of manual stimulation or using a prostate massager of the organ in question. This practice is likely to bring many benefits. However, do not hesitate to ask a health professional before embarking on this type of experience. What is prostate massage? Before starting this practice, as erotic as it is, you need to know some useful information. First, note that it is to stimulate the prostate. It is often performed for medical reasons, but can also be done for the purpose of causing arousal and sexual pleasure. The man can practice it alone or accompanied. The objective is to stimulate the famous point "P" which is the equivalence of the point "G" of the woman in the man. The method is not simple, but it just takes some getting used to. It suits,  beforehand, of lubricate a finger and insert it into the anus and rectum, then place it at the level of the prostate. The latter is located about 7 cm from the entrance to the anus in the direction of sex. The person concerned must then make circular movements in order to stimulate the gland. This massage can be performed during sexual intercourse, by a woman, using a sex toy or vibrators adapted to this kind of experience. What precautions should be taken ? The first precautions to take are hygienic. Before considering this type of experience, it is necessary to wash your hands. So, again, to avoid scratches and other lesions, it is advisable to cut the nails, since it is a highly sensitive area. Then, in order to facilitate the penetration of the finger or any sex toy, use a lubricant, preferably water-based. Finally, softness is required for this kind of massage, knowing that by going too hard, the risk would be to cause inflammation. The different ways to massage the prostate With the hand The hand can be a great help when it comes to massaging. However, in this particular experience, the finger should be the leader. Knowing that the prostate is located about 7cm from the anus, you will need at least your index finger to be able to reach it. Before you start, settle into a position that is most comfortable for you and above all practical to achieve this. Feel free to use lubricant for an even softer and more sensual approach. Using an appropriate accessory If you want to put all the chances of a successful experience on your side, opt for a sex toy for beginners specialized in this kind of sexual practice. In addition to undoubtedly reaching your goal, it also allows you to share sweet and erotic moments, all for your well-being. Do not consider other possibilities The rectum cannot be compared to the vagina. It is strongly advised not to try other objects or foods such as fruits or vegetables. The use of this type of product for this purpose represents real risks of accident and infection. How to do it ? Concretely, it is not only a question of placing your finger at the level of the anus, that is not enough to reach prostatic orgasm. This type of experience, whether practiced as a couple or solo, with sex toys or a finger, it must imperatively be done gradually. You can start by stimulating the part between the anus and the testicles. Then try to focus on sensuality at the anal barrier. This is a part that is sensitive, delicate and full of sweetness. The second thing not to be taken lightly is position. It must be admitted that each person has their favorite position, the one that makes them more comfortable. Let yourself go, don't be afraid to go beyond your limits. If you fail, persevere. Be aware that the position plays an important role in the success of the experiment. Finally, do not force it. You should avoid forcing your partner to practice it, or even inflicting it on yourselves under any constraint whatsoever, if you do not feel ready. It is better to do it with enjoyment and assurance at the same time. Remember:  you have to go slowly. Again, this is a very sensitive area, so avoid making any sudden movements. Relax, take all the time you need and stay focused on the feeling that floods your whole body. The benefits of prostate massage Basically, this type of erotic massage is used with the aim of relieving the pain and sensitivity of prostatitis. For the majority of men, massage has the ability to relieve discomfort and swelling. This allows them to avoid surgery or drug treatments that treat the symptoms of prostatitis, a disease of the prostate. Prostate massage as cancer prevention The role of the prostate is to secrete part of the seminal fluid, ensuring, thereafter, a consistency to the sperm. Note that a gland can be affected by several conditions. By practicing this massage, you can reduce your risk of developing cancer. Enhances sexual pleasure Prostate massage increases blood flow to the prostate. This phenomenon improves male erections. Naturally, there is nothing better for a satisfying sexual relationship. Only bodily well-being This type of massage can help ease painful ejaculations over time. In addition, it improves the intensity of ejaculation, which allows you to enjoy your intimate moments even more.

Our advices – Alexandra

The best positions to burn the most calories during sex

And if making love helped to lose weight? That would be the foot, wouldn't it? Good news ! These perspirations, shortness of breath and aches are not in vain. However, it must be recognized that the expenditure of calories while having coitus are not the same as those relating to sport strictly speaking. Still, it's still better than nothing. Imagine that we burn three times more of it than in motion at rest. It is still necessary to know the most favorable positions. Either way, you kill two birds with one stone by focusing on practices other than the traditional missionary. As much to combine the useful with the pleasant Make no mistake, sex will never replace a proper exercise program. However, it does help get rid of a few small calories. In any case, there is nothing better than a good part of your legs in the air to enjoy unparalleled pleasure while taking care of your figure. First, this practice does not require as much willpower as sports that are more or less intensive. On the other hand, sweats are an integral part of sex. Although sweating naked is much less painful than with tracksuits. The other side of the coin is that the calories burned are less important in the case that concerns us. Supporting scientific studies Like the University of Montreal, many centers and institutions have already studied the subject. As part of the study conducted by it, twenty couples made experiments with the intention of comparing energy expenditure during sexual intercourse and during sports activities. First verdict: the body of the man and the woman do not work in the same way on this point. If the first burns 100 calories over an average duration of 25 minutes in sex, the woman is at 69. Logic dictates that these figures increase with the extension of this period of time which varies in principle between 10 and 57 minutes. Compared to moderate-intensity walking, the efforts pay off twice as much as in the first case, for both men and women. These results were obtained thanks to the data collected by an electronic armband to put on during the act. In short, the male sex is able to burn 4.2 calories per minute during sexual activities and their opposite is 3.1 calories for the same period of time. Each step has its impact A priori, there are various ways of making love. Each of them leads to different effects, from foreplay to ejaculation. For the preliminaries Let's start with the beginning. You have to believe that foreplay isn't just for arousing. They also increase the calories destroyed, especially in their sports version. Those who love to indulge in sexy dances before taking action are favored, because the more the practice is eventful, the more the efforts increase. For this purpose, the limbs should be used as much as possible. On top of that, lovers of sex games win all the way since they tend to focus on the physical. As an example, if the usual foreplay only burns 200 calories, it is up to 400 for the other case The classic and the Kamasutra Intense sex goes hand in hand with Kamasutra. It is obvious that this one is twice as taxing as the classic. Moreover, some more or less complex positions will be shared in stride. For amateurs, there is sure to be enough to try new experiences without compromising pleasure. Between taking your time and making a quick shot The choice is obvious. If you blast 200 calories for quick hits, the bet is doubled when you get it right. In this case, what to do when orgasm is imminent? It's very simple: you have to let go and take the time to do another round, or even two if your body allows it. Imagine that this effort has an undeniable impact on your energy expenditure. However, this objective must not be achieved to the detriment of the true purpose of coitus, which is the thrill. Difference between standing and lying positions Standing positions are tougher than those practiced while lying down. They are therefore more profitable in terms of calories. However, they must be practiced knowingly since they are not given to everyone in the sense that they require not only great mental concentration, but also a certain physical capacity. In the absence of this faculty, it is necessary to resort to compromises like sitting postures. In this case, you will be halfway between the two.  Some tips in Kamasutra Choose from these positions depending on your physical condition. The standing man: no need to draw a picture for this first choice. If you last an hour with a few breaks in between, you manage to burn 360 calories. The Andromaque Amazone: this is the best way to make a woman reach an exceptional orgasm. The efforts made correspond to those made in the abs-glutes with 200 calories burned in one hour. The Javanese wheelbarrow: this is undoubtedly one of the most effective positions. 570 calories in one hour for the equivalent of one hour of cycling. The traditional doggy style: opt for this one if you are not a fan of complicated postures. You manage to eliminate 540 calories in one hour as you do in climbing. The Avignon bridge: with this one, the woman is more advantaged, because it works the buttocks, the thighs and the legs at the same time. With a deep penetration, it takes you to seventh heaven while you evacuate 300 calories. Stretch: like doggy style, stretch is not very difficult to implement. It is equivalent to 170 calories lost.

Our advices – Alexandra

The squirting woman

Should we be afraid of it? Is it due to an anomaly? This phenomenon can arouse fear, even disgust in some people, especially because it is still misunderstood, even today. And yet, scientific research carried out by several sexologists has shown that it is a completely natural physiological reaction. Indeed, anatomically, squirting women have nothing that differentiates them from others. Moreover, Dr. Desvaux, andrologist and sexologist, had affirmed that many more women than one might think can be fountains. On the other hand, the work carried out by Dr. Cabello Santa Maria indicated that 75% of the women studied would have expelled a liquid at the time of orgasm. The progress of science has made it possible to make this phenomenon a little better known and to sweep away prejudices. Nevertheless, it is still a source of frustration for some women, because many of them still feel shame in front of their partners. Fountain women are all different from each other. Some manage to control them, while others cannot. Can all women be fountains? The phenomenon experienced by squirting women is a physiological mechanism, which implies that everyone is logically capable of it. In some women, this impressive ejaculation consisting mainly of love juice and urine is uncontrollable. In others, it is well controlled. What is reassuring is that being a fountain woman can be learned. For this, there are different possible techniques. Nevertheless, you should know that each person is different, that is to say that it is necessary to go through several phases of discovery of your body in order to find the appropriate method. On the other hand, there are several tips that can favor the mechanism, such as reaching an optimal state of relaxation, since stimulation and relaxation are the key points of this phenomenon. Several sexologists suggest that it's all about letting go and that the expulsion of this liquid is likened to a total letting go. How to achieve it? The role of the partner According to sociologist Jacques Salomé, squirting women are, for the most part, women who have found a partner who is sensitive and attentive to their sex. Indeed, to reach this state and trigger the mechanism, it is necessary to be in tune with one's body, one's sexuality and especially one's partner, so that the act is a moment conducive to relaxation and not a source of stress. For singles  It is quite possible to trigger this phenomenon by being alone. Studies made in 1950 showed that stimulation of the G-spot could be the cause of this phenomenon. There are therefore several possible techniques, such as the use of sex toys, but also the "Captain hook" technique, which consists of introducing two fingers, in the shape of a hook, into the vulva, then exerting gentle pressure on the point. G. This technique could trigger the mechanism. Is there a difference between squirting and female ejaculation? Squirting and female ejaculation are both sometimes taboo subjects. Although the two concepts may have similar characteristics, it is necessary to clarify that if all women can become squirting, not all can ejaculate. The progress of science has made it possible to lift the veil on these two phenomena, because, in reality, the mechanism of female ejaculation and that of squirting women are different. However, it is important to emphasize that the two phenomena are in no way synonymous with a more intense orgasm. The squirting woman This denomination is especially applied when a large quantity of liquid escapes during orgasm. Physical effort and intense excitement increase the heart rate, causing blood to circulate and filter more quickly, which will cause fluid to accumulate in the bladder. This will then be evacuated in the form of trickling or spurting at the time of sexual stimulation leading to orgasm. The bladder will be completely emptied after the arousal climax. After carrying out analyzes, the scientists were able to deduce that this liquid would have the chemical structure of urine, but more diluted. It is odorless, colorless and has a neutral taste, which makes it  closer to water. female ejaculation During sexual intercourse, it happens that some women release a more or less significant amount of liquid in the sex area. However, this ejaculation is different from that of squirting women, because it comes from the Skène glands which are also called female prostates. The composition of this ejaculation is close to the prostatic fluid of men. Studies have shown it to contain prostatic acid phosphatase  and fructose, both of which are present in male sperm. According to Dr. Desvaux, “all women have these glands, but they are more or less developed depending on testosterone levels and genetics. Even if this phenomenon requires stimulation to be triggered, it should be noted that ejaculation and orgasm do not always go hand in hand, because ejaculation can occur before or after excitement. Different interpretations Fountain women have long been the subject of fascination because of their rarity. Some saw them as practitioners of black magic exercising an unhealthy enjoyment of female sexuality, while others saw them as women with strong reproductive power. In India, the liquid that comes out is sometimes called "lotus nectar" or "nectar of the gods" and it was even recommended to be consumed. In Rwanda, it is considered a sacred liquid. Sociologist Janine Mossuz-Lavau noted that “their rarity made them goddesses in ancient civilizations and monsters in some cultures. In France and the United States, around the middle of the 20th century, several fountain women had surgery for urinary incontinence. This phenomenon has already been mentioned in the "kamasutra" and in the time of Hippocrates who attributed it to a seed playing an important role in procreation. However, it was not until 2007 that it was confirmed with accuracy that this is a completely natural phenomenon and that it is in no way the expression of an anomaly.

Our advices – Alexandra

5 tips for a fulfilling sex life

What are the secrets of a healthy sex life? How to have fun and take full advantage of the sex moments that we both share? Here are 5 keys that will open many doors for you. I no longer seek orgasm at all costs If I only think about enjoying, my brain only concentrates on the purpose of the sexual relationship. However, during love, many things happen: his skin against my skin, his hands between my thighs, his breath between my legs... Enjoying the journey is better! By living in the present moment, without looking away, I give myself a better chance of reaching orgasm. It will be more surprising and stronger, thanks to the thousand sensations encountered along the way. I don't pretend I'm good at pretending. When it's not my night, I pretend it is. And when his caresses don't speak to me, I pretend that they are talkative. That way, I don't offend my partner and everyone is happy. Error ! It is better to say things. Guide the other towards our desires of the moment to enjoy them more. Without sounding like a school principal, I gently suggest to her… a missionary, because I'm in a missionary mood. I accompany his hands on my clitoris when they are clumsy and I suggest turning off the light if that suits me better. I am not participating in a competition I'm not here to have sex ten times a week and beat the national average. No longer to string together ten positions every quarter of an hour because they do that in porn movies. Sex makes me happy when I live it my way, without counting, without timing myself and without comparing myself. So it doesn't matter if the neighbors make the building shake every night if what makes me feel good is setting it on fire once a month. I don't stay on my achievements I often tell myself that I've done the trick and that my sexuality is routine. Maybe yes, my sexual relations follow each other and resemble each other. However, there are a lot of things to discover. Sexuality is a vast field in which there is always something to discover. A new position, a new toy, a new place, a new erogenous zone… I go for it. The promise: new sensations never experienced before! I don't think about my worries Sex is a moment of sharing and high relaxation! But it's true, when I've had a bad day, rather than enjoying the sex moment, I dwell on my worries. You have to do the shopping, pay the taxes, take out the trash. Certainly. But there is no point in thinking about it during love. Because the bins will not empty in full penetration. I postpone my worries to abandon myself now, right away, and feel how my partner's hands on me are small happiness.

Our advices – Alexandra

6 naughty tips for ever more successful oral sex!

Oral sex is good, but sometimes you wonder if it couldn't be even better. Without any pressure (there is no diploma for the best fellatio), here are 7 little golden tips to give your partner more pleasure. We like that ! It is by taking pleasure yourself that we will offer it to our partner. For what ? Because if fellatio excites us he will feel it and be all the more excited. In other words, it is the story of a virtuous circle. However, remember that it is useless to force yourself: if you prefer to sulk fellatio, then sulk it. And if we want to learn to love it then we take the opposite view of what displeases us: too submissive? The man lies down, we get on top of him. Too selfish? We offer a 69 for a shared pleasure... We salivate Genitals love…wetness. Excitement factor not to be overlooked! So discreetly, we salivate again and again. Or, we opt for a lubricant, guaranteed effect! We abandon the mechanical gestures Blowjob is not a matter of "I come in, I go out", otherwise you get bored quickly. So we masturbate our partner with the hand, before putting our mouth back in, and so on. You can also have fun licking his penis, from the root to the glans. And then sometimes we go fast, sometimes we slow down… By changing pace and playing, we both enjoy ourselves. We put away our teeth One piece of advice, one line: watch out for ugly teeth that can hurt! We bring change! How about we go on the couch or in the shower? We are ruined to pay for an apartment, let's take the opportunity to rediscover it from a new angle. Ditto for the positions: sometimes submissive, sometimes dominating, we have fun varying the acrobatics to give fellatio a little refreshment! We look at our partner It all depends on our degree of shyness and the light in the room (yes because in the dark, we can always look at each other, we won't see much) but a little naughty or romantic glance, it feels good... !

Our advices – Alexandra

How to let go during cunnilingus?

If cunnilingus is an erotic act, a source of pleasure, not all women love it. It all depends on the partner, the moment, the vision we have of this practice and our complexes... So how do we let go and savor it? Advice. feel clean It's silly to say, but far from being absurd. Many women fear cunnilingus for fear of smelling bad, being "a little dirty" or sweating. We live in a society that constantly hunts hair and bad odors, which is freaking good when our last shower was less than three minutes ago. The best solution, when you can't casually take a shower before sex (and you really want to), is to drag your partner into the bathroom. Underwater, the pleasure is different, more sensual, and soap is never far away. We can even ask the other to soap our sex as a preliminaries... Dare to go black! Another complex: the light is a little too bright! We often put ourselves in the place of our partner and we visualize our sex in close-up (not pretty to see, we say to ourselves). But all genders are beautiful. Sight is a sense which is not idle during love and which stimulates sexual desire. So, if we refuse that our partner slips his nose between our legs, eyes wide open on our private parts, turning off the light is a first step that allows abandonment. A small candle will suffice, for a subdued atmosphere! And if you are already in the bathroom while reading these lines, note that nothing prevents you from washing in the dark, with a trickle of light from the next room. think about yourself To abandon oneself to any sexual practice, it is good to awaken one's small part of selfishness. Often, we don't take full advantage of it, as if it were unwelcome, as if we didn't deserve this attention… Wrong. Let's dare to savor these few minutes of happiness and think of us, just of us, of this crazy goodness that we feel, of this man who caresses our sex with his tongue or a stranger that we have been fantasizing about for ages... We are free to travel. Guide your partner What if we thought we weren't into cunnilingus when only a few clumsiness on the part of our partner kept us away from pleasure? We can guide him! As long as we don't redirect him, he will think that his practice suits us. However, there is no shame in not liking the way he does it, it does not question our love for him. We can therefore, with our two free hands, replace our head, touch our sex to separate our lips otherwise, and so on. Don't wait for the miracle If there is a common mistake, which we already make with orgasm, it is to think about the result while forgetting to focus on the most important thing: our sensations! During cunnilingus, there's no need to cross your fingers while repeating "As long as it does!" ". By dint of trying to like it, we put pressure on ourselves and we miss out on the most pleasant. It is by emptying your mind and focusing on what you feel second after second that you will take your foot by surprise!

Our advices – Alexandra

Alicia, 33 years old: “to enjoy, I have to dominate”

Alicia, 33, likes to dominate in bed. While many men have been surprised by her go-getter character, her current partner loves being submissive. She tells us. My profile is not common. My friends tell me regularly that they like to be submissive in bed. It's the opposite that excites me. I realized this from the beginning of my sex life. Very naturally (and because we still live in an old pattern which says that the man proposes and the woman disposes…), the guys took the lead. They decided on the position, sometimes sticking out their nails, and I, to get into the game, looked like a “fragile little thing” who likes to obey. But I was completely bored. It is generally claimed that the submissive dominates just as much since from the moment he accepts the submission, imposes limits and opens certain doors, he is in control. Maybe. But I wanted to be the one who decides and directs, guides and surprises. Not the one who drives tacitly by taking less initiative. I like to be a source of surprise Women who prefer to be submissive appreciate the surprise effect. Well, that's what I hear very often. They never know what their partner is going to do or say. For them, it's a way to abandon themselves to the sexual act, to stop thinking, to disconnect, to leave... Precisely, what I like is to observe my partner who lets go... Thanks to me ! I like to surprise him, I like to be on top of him – Andromaque is my favorite position. I choose the rhythm, I decide to speed up or slow down, to put a hand on his mouth or to close his eyes. He never knows what to expect, he faces the unknown and he loves it. I'm also into raw words, I like to tell him what I want, to give him orders. I take pleasure when I do it and enjoy watching his reactions. That's how I get off Behind my behavior, one could believe in a need for omnipotence. Also to a fear of abandoning oneself, I have already thought about it. I don't think that's the case, because by acting the way I do, I lose my footing. It's my way of finding pleasure, first because my partner loves it and it's contagious, then because directing the relationship allows me to go where I want (always with his consent) and therefore to fully live the moment. Initially, I imagined that I was not confident enough with the men I met. Even if it's a game, you have to feel safe to put on the submissive costume. But I have known long relationships, in which I felt good, but impossible to let myself go. Maybe I'm like that in bed because I'm pretty shy on a daily basis. Sex is a secret garden, a field on which I dare to express myself. I confused some men I'm lucky, because my partner really likes me to take the lead. We have found the balance. It sometimes happens that he orders me to play the submissive, it always lasts a minute or two, and it is for the sole purpose of knocking me out of my hinges, as if I had to "revenge myself" . With my exes, things were different. Rarely have I known men who loved being submissive. They were baffled in front of me! They didn't necessarily expect to dominate, but they hoped to alternate constantly. Result, I lived a lot of animal reports! Everyone wanted to take power. It made the act interesting and pleasant, in a different tone. But I happened to come across men who quickly confided in me that they did not like it. They felt like they had nothing to do. I can only understand, because I myself don't like this place. The whole thing, in the end, is to find someone with whom it sticks on this point… We all have our preferences in bed.

Our advices – Mister Ose

The secrets of the multi-orgasmic man: we tell you everything!

e always hear about premature ejaculation, but very little about multiorgasm. It must be admitted that the first case turns out to be a real hassle for men. This situation sometimes even requires treatment. On the other hand, reaching the point of no return repeatedly is still quite an achievement. Some manage it quite easily, while others still need to know the secrets to soak up this art. In a few words, the idea is to know how to put oneself perfectly in symbiosis with the sexual zones of the body. In the end, this boon is within everyone's reach. Only, you have to do your part. Have an orgasm without ejaculation Multiorgasm can be done with or without ejaculation in a single intercourse. It must be said that the prospect of reaching the climax of sexual pleasure in several times without having to take a break is the dream for more than one man. However, some succeed with a few minutes or seconds of downtime in between. In this case, we speak of sequential type multiorgasm. Between two orgasms is the refractory period, this period of time during which the excitement escapes. Normally, it occurs after ejaculation. Its duration varies from one person to another, depending on age, physical condition and of course the intensity of pleasure. The shorter it is, the more the man in question can discover several pleasures. In any case, refraining from ejaculating increases the chances of getting there since seminal losses are the cause of the decline in erection. This is because of the amount of energy required for sperm production. Whatever happens, it goes without saying that it is a sine qua non for the continuity of the action, in other words, of sexual performance. Women are one step ahead Compared to men, women are more likely to have this experience. First big difference, they do without the refractory period. Therefore, they remain "operational" and aroused even after a raging orgasm. Some even manage to increase the pace after the first spasm of pleasure in order to reach seventh heaven. In their opposite, the desire tends to fade away little by little once the sperm has been evacuated, even when indulging in new stimulations. Moreover, more than one feel a certain sensation of pain or discomfort from insisting. Although in one case as in the other, the next orgasm can point the tip of his nose only when the antics undertaken allow it. In question, all the erogenous zones do not produce the same effects. Men are less likely to be affected. To be precise, they represent 6% of the sexually active male population against 20% among women. The fact remains that it is possible to match the prowess of the fairer sex under certain conditions. Discovering the power of the pubococcygeus muscle As you will have understood, the penis becomes relatively sensitive after ejaculation. In this case, how to hold back while fully savoring your orgasm? It should be known that this one slightly precedes the spilling of sperm. Everything happens at this interval. Hence the intervention of the pubococcygeal muscle, the famous PC. It is located in the perineum region, more precisely along the pubic bone to the coccyx. This muscle takes care of everything that happens between the testicles and the anus. When a man interrupts the urine, it's up to the PC to take care of it. The same goes for the seminal liquor. However, its effectiveness depends on everyone. The more it is reinforced, the more the person is likely to experience success on this side. This is the point of the exercises that follow. Train to get there Becoming multiorgasmic is a faculty that remains assimilable with exercises. At the same time, the aforementioned 6% are able to take advantage of this privilege without having to make special efforts. Fortunately, the related training allows all men, or almost, to be on the same pedestal. Masturbation is an excellent exercise before getting into practice. Instead of ejaculating, use the PC muscle to hold yourself back. However, the penis should not be stimulated once the contractions specific to orgasm are felt. Depending on the case, a short break follows this moment or not before resuming auto-erotism to reach another orgasm. So on until ejaculation. At first it will be difficult to repress the ecstasy, but the body gets used to it and begins to enjoy it over time. In addition, the feeling is much more pleasant being with a partner. Other activities are needed before you can master the technique to perfection. Breathing is part of it. To do this, sit in a comfortable position with your hands on your stomach. Inhale and exhale calmly and intensely for a few minutes. This will make it easier to control yourself during sex. At this time, you must know perfectly your state of arousal before and after the first orgasm. Be careful, if you don't succeed, it can be a source of frustration not only for you, but also for your partner. So stay patient, and then after all, keep in mind that getting there isn't an end in itself either! Don't overdo it When you succeed in crossing this milestone, sex will be seen from a whole new angle. If usually, enjoying is characterized by a note of stealth, this ability allows you to better focus on pleasure and not sex itself. With this activity, the sensations of ecstasy provided last longer. In addition, they are inevitably more intense. This is explained not only by the presence of several orgasms, but also by the prolonged duration of the report. At the same time, a man with this ability succeeds in satisfying his lover even more. Unfortunately, being multiorgasmic does not only have advantages. By dint of looking for new performances, both physical and relational problems can be caused. Among the most likely risks is long-term ejaculatory dysfunction. Reason why it is never advisable to abuse it. Letting go is a must from time to time.

Our advices – Melisande de Bimbojam

We test! Slow sex or how to connect to pleasure

The slow trend is everywhere - slow cosmetics, slow food, slow fashion... - and now in our beds, with slow sex. Its goal ? Make love more slowly in order to better connect to our sensations. Pleasure tenfold and guaranteed! We tell you how to do it. Why try slow sex? Because we tend to run, even to rush. Sex is often starter main course dessert. Why not: we know what we like, we know the body of the other and its areas of pleasure. We also know our own body, the positions that suit us. This achievement is not bad, the routine either, it is a way to meet, in the evening, to enjoy together. But there is a way to rediscover yourself to dare new sensations: slow sex. Which consists of taking your time in order to better connect with others, with emotions, to be more in the moment than in the orgasm to come. In other words, slow sex comes down to taking advantage of the path that leads to enjoyment. To connect better… we disconnect first! In order to connect to the body of the other but also to one's own body, it is good to approach the sexual exchange as a tender moment, without parasitic thoughts, without cell phone ringing, without TV in the background... We prepare our atmosphere, one that invites us to relax. No pressure, no urgency, we are only there to share an embrace full of sensuality, to survey a body that we love but that we always look at from the same angle, under the same light. We tell ourselves that our worries can wait in the closet for an hour or two, and we are then completely available. The report will not be quickly done well, it will be slow and in full consciousness, for the pleasure of being there, together, ready to share a thousand sensations! How do we do it, concretely? Once our cozy room is waiting for us, slow sex is all about braking! No rush: we take our time. We first kiss for a long time (to forget the kisses, very erotic?), we undress millimeter by millimeter, we concentrate on the effect of a garment that escapes us and on the skin of the other, that we go through with our fingertips. We dare massages, caresses, on sometimes abandoned areas: the lower back? Neck ? The whole body is potentially erogenous, so why not take a slow walk? And always, we ask ourselves the question: what do I feel here? When his hands graze my chest? We activate our five senses: what touch tells us, but also our sense of smell, our hearing, our sight and our taste. Thus – and it's magic – we forget this duty of performance and enjoyment which sometimes leads us to think about “afterwards”, about what “must be done”, about what “the other is waiting for”. On the contrary, we fully live the moment because we take the time to enter into it, to dissect it, to magnify it. And when the orgasm comes many minutes later, it surprises us. And it is more intense. Try it with a square of chocolate: taste it slowly, look at it before that, breathe it in, feel it vibrate in your mouth… Isn't it better than swallowing it in a hurry after a coffee? To you !

Our advices – Alexandra

Why submission excites?

Many people enjoy submissive dominance relationships with a preference for second place. Why is the role of the submissive in a couple's game exciting? Explanations and advice on how to do it. “By forcing me to follow him, my partner is forcing me to let go” “It's only when Erwan takes the lead that I don't think of anything. I let myself be, I obey him, my head goes blank,” says Elodie, 30. If sex helps many of us to disconnect, we still have to surrender completely. Submission requires taking no initiative, in other words, no longer controlling anything. The very definition of letting go, which we experience in life as in bed, with more or less success. As soon as we no longer decide on the next caress and let ourselves be guided without thinking, we welcome pleasure more easily. Our brain is disconnected, we are attentive to every word, every gesture, so that our sensations are more intact, and therefore more pleasant, as testified by Marjorie, 26 years old: "If my partner touches my sex by putting his hand on my mouth and pulling my hair, I take three times my foot. I like constraint, I feel like a fragile and vulnerable little thing. By forcing me to follow her, my partner forces me to let go. I can't cling to anything. This position of inferiority is exciting for me because all the sensations are increased tenfold”. "Not knowing if he's going to touch my breasts or buttocks is terribly good" By playing the submissive or the submissive, we let the other lead the boat of our pleasure. How can we predict whether it will brush against us or bite us? Kiss us or turn around? The surprises follow one another and all the more so if you blindfold yourself. “I like the reports of domination submission blindfolded, says Simon, 32 years old. I don't know what to expect. My girlfriend decides and every initiative on her part is a surprise, which gives me more pleasure. I am facing the unknown and it puts me in crazy states! ". A feeling that Marjorie shares. Because if pleasure comes from letting go and losing control, it is also unable to anticipate. “My partner plays hot, cold, he sets the tone of the relationship. Not knowing if he's going to touch my breasts or buttocks, hand me his penis or force me to masturbate is terribly good. As if being just as much of an actress took away some of my excitement because the relationship becomes predictable. When we're not playing, I like to know how I'm going to touch him or whisper to him what I like, but in surprise, my body leaps, each gesture is crazier”. “By submitting, I dominate him” Domination-submission relationships take the form of a game. The couple chooses the role of each one together. The setting is intimate, defined, and respectful. And contrary to appearances, the submissive also holds the power! Physically, you might think it's inferior, but in reality, the ratio is balanced. It is by deciding to be submissive and more or less playing the game that the dominant is oriented. "It is enough that I no longer take any initiative and withdraw into myself as who disposes for Florian to understand where I am coming from. And the more I play "the weak", the more he plays the strong. On the contrary, if I have  I want to be a little more present, I'm more active and he dominates less”, tells us Hélène, 31 years old. Basically, the couple quickly forgets who is the dominant, who is the dominated, and one needs the other to exercise his role. If the dominated expects the dominant to guide him, the dominant can let go if the dominated allows him to and he will set his limits if the dominant goes too far. A balanced game, for maximum pleasure. As long as everyone agrees.

Our advices – Alexandra

How to stimulate the clitoris?

Sexual organ dedicated to pleasure, the clitoris has nearly 10,000 nerve endings. In other words, it can take us far, very far. Six secrets to stimulate it and experience incredible pleasure. With fingers or hand Obviously, manual stimulation is the most frequent. Whether you treat yourself to solitary pleasure or share an intimate moment, the fingers allow gentle exploration of the clitoral zone. This is an opportunity to identify her labia minora, her labia majora, the vaginal vestibule and then the clitoris itself, an infinite source of pleasure. Turning around increases the excitement, while too sudden a touch can chill. Gentleness is therefore required for a step-by-step awakening, until you feel the clitoris go into erection. Humidity is also important: you can then wet your finger, use a silicone-based lubricant or simply let the excitement increase until the vagina offers natural lubrication. As for the whole hand, it intervenes to apply very light pressure, but also to form small circles. With an erotic toy Many women use sex toys to masturbate, also within the couple. Very frequently equipped with vibrations, toys for adults offer intense sensations. Orgasm can occur very quickly, the stimulation being fast and effective. Many women play and then take a break to use their fingers again. A way to slow the rise and create more sexual tension. Sex toys are a great way to discover your body, to familiarize yourself with the rate at which pleasure builds and sets in, and then play your way along the way to climax. To stimulate your clitoris, we recommend getting started with our clitoris stimulator The Amazing! , guaranteed orgasm! By friction When young women discover their bodies and indulge in auto-eroticism, they generally rub against a soft object, such as a pillow, the mattress, even a stuffed animal. Often, they tighten the legs in order to fold the clitoris on itself, to confine it within the vulva, for more excitement. The frictions make it possible to perfectly manage the pressure, the movement and the rhythm. During sexual intercourse, you can rub against your partner's pubis, also on your thigh during foreplay. A way not to abandon her clitoris during vaginal stimulation. It is no less good, less pleasant, and is not only useful for foreplay. With the tongue Cunnilingus offers a very pleasant wet pleasure. Just as women very often enjoy clitoral pleasure in the shower, via the pressure of the water. Kissing the clitoris, licking it, is an art that is practiced gently. We choose a position in which we feel completely comfortable. We close the legs or spread them. We release the head back to surrender or we look at the scene to awaken our senses and get visually excited. Everything is allowed. The ideal is to take your time, never to rush cunnilingus, a very sensual act during which you can stimulate other erogenous zones, such as the entrance to the vagina or the breasts, by offering breaks. With the penis During foreplay or during sex, the penis can stimulate the clitoris. The glans is also very sensitive and is said to be made up of around 4000 nerve endings. This practice is a delight for both partners. Beyond the sensations experienced - the result of the encounter between two very fine body parts - the erotic dimension of this gesture promises enormous excitement. In other words, it is the very idea of ​​rubbing the glans against the clitoris that takes us into a fantasy world. We visualize the scene, or we watch it, and we become aware of being at the very heart of sexual pleasure. Via the vagina For a long time, we classified female pleasure into a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal orgasm. Now, feminine pleasure is a whole.  There is "only one" orgasm, experienced differently according to the women, the hours, the circumstances, and the caresses. We then speak of external stimulation and internal stimulation. The clitoris is certainly visible, but it actually measures ten centimeters. It is made up of roots that surround the vagina. The famous G-spot, according to the latest research, would ultimately be a specific point in contact with the clitoris. Stimulating the entrance to the vagina, without much back and forth and without seeking depth, but by caressing the walls, would therefore be the way to stimulate her clitoris from another angle for overall and powerful pleasure.

Our advices – Melisande de Bimbojam

A short guide to getting started with sex toys

Have you never used sex toys but are curious to get started? Our advice for getting started with confidence (and a lot of fun). Sex toys are not reserved for single people or for those who encounter sexual difficulties and feel the need to be supported in the discovery of their body. Indeed, sex toys are for everyone, whether you are alone or in a couple, and whatever your desires. Our advice for choosing the right sex toy when starting out. I question my desire Before getting a sex toy, you can think about what attracts you to this new adventure. Want to get to know your body better? To meet a specific organ more intimately, such as the clitoris or the prostate? A desire to approach new orgasms, or to have fun with your partner or partners? Answering these questions will guide you in your choice, especially since GOLIATE offers you a menu based on your "desire": it is your desires that lead you to sex toys, and that is ideal! I choose an accessible sex toy that appeals to me "Don't have your eyes bigger than your stomach", we sometimes hear. It works a little with toys: no need, when you take your first steps, to buy a huge vibrator or order 17 sex toys. The important thing is to choose one that resonates with your desire and that responds to your approach and your vision of sexuality. I use water-based lube We cannot repeat it enough, but lube is not an option. Let's say that humidity is a guarantee of pleasure and comfort, which is why the vagina and penis become moist during sexual arousal. A water-based lubricant, such as our Sensual Glide Gel, will therefore go wonderfully with the use of a sex toy by providing softness and fluidity. I wash my sex toy well before and after use On the hygiene side now, we note that it is good to wash your sex toy before and after use. How ? No dishwasher or strange products. We opt for a classic soap with a little water, and we wipe the toy by dabbing it in a towel. Otherwise, GOLIATE markets an organic, vegan cleaner and disinfectant, made in France, which takes care of toys and extends their lifespan.

Our advices – Mister Ose

7 things to know about the prostate (and prostate pleasure)

The prostate is a gland involved in sexual pleasure. But what do we really know about its functions and secrets? 7 revelations. The prostate is the size of a chestnut Until the age of 40, the prostate looks like a chestnut. It weighs about 15 to 20 grams. Then, it gradually gains in volume. It can then be compared to a small apricot, or even a clementine. This hypertrophy is benign but can lead to urinary disorders. The prostate is not idle, it participates in the production of sperm Do not imagine that the prostate does nothing all its days. On the contrary ! Its main mission? Make seminal fluid to protect and nourish sperm, and allow them to move. In short, the prostate adds fluid to the river! In parallel, it is requested punctually, during ejaculation: it expels the sperm so that it comes out of the penis. The prostate is located below the bladder Talking about the prostate, prostatic pleasure and prostatic orgasm is good, but you still have to locate your prostate to find it! It lodges under the bladder and is accessible by digital rectal examination, about 7 centimeters from the entrance to the rectum, hence the "necessity" to go through the back door to stimulate it. You can feel prostatic pleasure by stimulating the perineum You can also stimulate the prostate by massaging the outer part of the pelvic muscles – under the purses, to generate perineal contractions which then affect the prostate. It will be "titillated" indirectly, for your greatest pleasure. Prostate pleasure can make you want to pee If you have to urinate during sex, especially when the prostate is stimulated, that's normal. The bladder being the neighbor of the prostate, it is also titillated. Sex toys can accompany prostate pleasure To go to meet his prostate pleasure, you can use sex toys. Able to put you at ease, they are specially designed to gently stimulate this intimate area. The use of a anal relaxant or one special anal lubricant will also be appropriate, since the anus does not lubricate naturally. To enjoy more, we can imagine his prostate Male pleasure, contrary to popular belief, is not only external since it is not limited to the penis alone! Nevertheless, the prostate being hidden, it is not always easy to envisage prostatic pleasure. Whether you are a beginner or not, you can turn on your brain and imagine your prostate to connect to this gland and feel all the pleasure granted. It is also an excellent way to obtain a prostatic orgasm, more diffuse and deeper.

Our advices – Mister Ose

5 Ways to Revisit Good Old Missionary

Sexual position known to all and ultra-comfortable, the missionary is neither boring nor drowsy. It is enough to revisit it to be convinced of its charm and take a crazy pleasure. Our advices. In a heterosexual configuration, the missionary position looks like this: the woman is lying on her back and the man is lying on top of her to penetrate her. Simple ? Maybe. But comfortable and a guarantee of pleasure! To go further, this classic and routine-looking missionary can be revisited. What to do to boost it? Extract all its erotic potential? Achieve more surprising orgasms? Our ideas. A missionary… with a cushion In this first variant, the woman places a cushion at the level of her lower back, or in the lower back. The cushion should be small (no need to bring a huge pillow, which would be more cumbersome than anything else!). It allows you to gently arch your back for a new angle of penetration. GOLIATE loves because missionary is a comfortable position, and missionary with a cushion is an even more comfortable position! And comfort is far from being incompatible with pleasure, on the contrary. A missionary… at the edge of the bed And if we proposed to his missionary to… slide slightly? The partners can approach the edge of the bed: the woman puts her feet on the ground (while she is lying down) and the man penetrates her. This position is almost an inverted replica of the missionary with a cushion, since this time the woman does not arch and the angle of penetration is the opposite of the previous variant. GOLIATE loves because being on the edge of the bed adds spice and a big touch of eroticism to the missionary. A missionary… legs up The advantage of the missionary with the legs raised is that it offers the possibility of varying the angle of penetration as you wish, and every two minutes if you wish! For this, the woman spreads her legs in the air. During penetration, the man can feel a lot of pleasure and ease as the opening of the legs fluidifies the meeting and the fusion. GOLIATE loves because raising the legs can be done whenever desired. Nothing prevents returning to a more classic missionary the next moment. This movement of the legs thus invites all the variants and all the pleasures. The missionary… who rolls up Here, the raised legs close around the partner's torso, which then becomes enveloped. By being attached to her partner, the woman follows the movement of penetration all the more. This position allows both partners to be one and to go further in pleasure. GOLIATE loves because this is the time to slow down the back-and-forth penetration and play with circular penetration. The moment rhymes with fusion and the partner can, with his penis, caress the vaginal walls of his partner. The missionary… merry-go-round style Once in place, the missionary can get on the big merry-go-round of pleasure and surprise. Why stay on top of each other, without trying to lose the north? Thus, we can roll, end up on the side, or reverse the roles. By being on top of her partner, the woman is in a position that reminds us of the Andromache, but when she keeps her legs a minimum closed and does not straighten up, we are in a reverse missionary! GOLIATE loves because turning and playing with his missionary, we take a crazy pleasure to return to the starting missionary. It looks like a break, an accomplice moment when you catch your breath. It's exquisite.

Our advices – Alexandra

Test The Amazing! and share your experience on our Instagram account

GOLIATE is an adventure that we live with you. This is why we have decided to give you the floor by inviting you to test The Amazing!, our clitoral and vaginal stimulator. How it works ? Who can participate? We will explain everything to you. GOLIATE works every day for your well-being by offering you adult toys and pleasure cosmetics. And you are the one who speaks best about our products! Thus, and because we attach particular importance to your feedback, we are asking you to become a tester.se for GOLIATE. For this, we offer you the opportunity to discover The Amazing!. In return, you create content that we will then post on our Instagram account, @goliate_official . Are you tempted? Here are the steps to follow. Who can test? Everyone ! If you want to test The Amazing!, the only thing we ask of you is to make videos in story format that will be shared with our Instagram community. What should I do once I receive the product? If you are selected, you will receive the sex toy at your home and enjoy it in private. Then, we ask you to provide us with videos in story format that relate your experience. It's not about content to be produced in the heat of the moment, but content in which you share your feelings and impressions: how did you find the packaging? The product itself? Were the sensations there? Are the vibrations effective? What are the qualities of the product? What pitfalls have you identified? We will accompany you in the realization of your content. We can give you ideas, help you find the right words and the right shot. Our team will keep in touch with you and you can chat. Important ! The face camera and the broadcasting of videos on your personal account are not mandatory. It's up to you to imagine the format that makes you most comfortable, between voice-over, texts or facing the camera! How can I register? Edit: registrations are closed. Nothing's easier. You just need to fill out this form. We will then study the requests and we will contact you by email if you have been chosen to test The Amazing!. You have until Friday, May 21, 2021 to register. You have questions ? Contact us by private message on Instagram .

Our advices – Melisande de Bimbojam

The CAT method to increase pleasure

The CAT method, for coital alignment technique, is played during penetration and more particularly the position of the missionary. Thanks to it, women can discover new sensations and more intense orgasms. Penetrative sex has many qualities, but it also has a flaw: by dint of back and forth, female pleasure sometimes feels sidelined. Indeed, several studies show us that penetration alone is not ideal for reaching orgasm. That doesn't mean it should be avoided, just that dual stimulation – including vulvar and clitoral caresses – is welcome. And the CAT method – CAT for coital alignment technique – is used: this practice offers both partners the opportunity to leave the usual penetrative patterns and reinvent penetration for more pleasure and fusion. How do we do ? We stick together and we dance languidly! To practice the CAT method, we… penetrate ourselves (to begin with). But this time, we leave our habits. Rather than coming and going (we know), we play our pools and undulate together. For this, the partner, placed above, lies down on his partner. If he shouldn't crush it (that would be a shame), he shouldn't hesitate to slouch a little, the idea being to be very close and glued. The partner below will straighten her legs and not spread them much apart. The important thing to remember is that the two bodies are thus aligned. And they must be aligned, as the name of the technique specifies. Then we move our bodies. In other words, we squirm. A practice that invites the stimulation of the vaginal walls (often neglected when it comes to going straight to the bottom of the tunnel) and the vulva, since the pubis are in contact. And we know that the glans of the clitoris, which is located at the top of the vulva, likes to be part of it! The other advantage of this method is that it is extremely sensual. We take the opportunity to look each other in the eye and measure all the happiness of being with each other, finally one inside the other.

Our advices – Alexandra

VAGINISMUS: WHAT SOLUTIONS TO GET OUT OF IT?

Due to an involuntary muscular contraction of the muscles surrounding the vagina, vaginismus makes penetration painful or even impossible. How to treat it and regain a fulfilling sex life? Our tracks. Behind the term vaginismus, there is that of vagina. But vaginismus is not a vagina problem, nor a gynecological problem; usually the vagina is fine. Vaginismus is a sexual disorder linked to an involuntary contraction of the muscles surrounding the vagina. This contraction then prevents penetration. It's as if the vagina was closing, locking itself. Medically speaking, we distinguish partial vaginismus (at this time, the subject has no difficulty inserting a tampon, a cup, an ovum, only coital penetration is made impossible) from total vaginismus (in this case, any "intrusion" is impossible), but also primary vaginismus (always present) secondary vaginismus (which occurs later in life, when everything was going well until now). But why do the muscles of the perineum lock and how to treat vaginismus? Fear of pain and fear of the penis When we talk about vaginismus, we are therefore talking about a reflex contraction of the muscles of the vagina: we “want” to make love, but something is blocking it, the body refuses. In question, often dyspareunia, that is to say pain during intercourse. By dint of pain, of a badly experienced penetration, the vagina chooses to close so as not to “relive” this experience. In other cases, we can evoke in the broad sense the fear of the penis, due to a distorted vision of the male sex (we imagine it very large, while we imagine its very small vagina), sexual abuse which revives in the subject a fear of suffering. We can also question the way we look at sexuality, or what we have heard about sexuality. A woman, for example, who thinks that sex is "dirty", can suffer from vaginismus insofar as she does not allow herself sexuality. Of course, all this does not mean that dyspareunia, sexual abuse, or a "negative" view of sexuality necessarily leads to vaginismus. "Practical" solutions Without saying that vaginismus is purely "in the head", it is necessary to admit, all the same, its psychological nature, so that a psychiatric follow-up can be of great help. But there are other parallel solutions to get out of it and re-tame your body. Namely, already, that vaginismus does not always prevent a fulfilling sexuality: penetration is, wrongly, the centerpiece of sexual intercourse . However, one can take pleasure in practicing a so-called "preliminary" sexuality, thanks to external caresses, in particular via stimulation of the vulva (and therefore of the glans of the clitoris), breasts, belly... This "way of doing allows women to relax, lubricate, and realize that their body is still in the game. A positive observation that is more than useful for healing. Then, specialists generally suggest taking your time: the muscles of the vagina, if they contract, do not contract for hours. During a relationship of trust, with lubricant , softness and external caresses to calm down, it is possible to “play” at the entrance to the vagina. The idea is not at all to force the passage, but to show your body, inch by inch, that it can relax. The vagina is like tights: it's when you put your leg in that it opens. Even if so, here, we won't talk about a leg (atmosphere) but a finger, then a penis. If, of course, the pain is present and the penetration impossible, we resume the sexuality of foreplay, we have fun differently, so as not to lose confidence. Finally, masturbation also remains an avenue to explore: the fear of the penis and, sometimes, the fear of a relationship that is too virulent, partly explain vaginismus. Masturbation then allows you, solo, to meet your body and reassure yourself: it's ok, it's going well. A “victory” which invites, then, to share a sexual relationship in a new dimension. If, at two, it blocks again and again, it is then necessary to take stock: what bothers me in this configuration? In the practice of penetration? Elements of response to then share with a specialist if necessary.

Our advices – Alexandra

THE ESSENTIAL HUMASANA AND GOLIATE

GOLIATE's Interview by Essential Humasana Morgan, the founder of GOLIATE recently had the pleasure of being interviewed by the team at Humasana, whose mission is to find the best health and well-being products in Europe and offer them in their online parapharmacy. If you want to know more about the creation of GOLIATE, what makes our products unique in the wellness and organic market, or how we pay particular attention to the composition of our products and our manufacturing process: we invite you to read the article .

Our advices – Alexandra

ORAL DOGSHOOD, THE KAMASUTRA POSITION TO INCREASE PLEASURE DURING CUNNILINGUS!

How to do it: The partner can opt for the traditional doggy style, with her knees and hands on the bed, or for the "buttocks up" version, with her chest and head on the bed. By opting for the "buttocks in the air" version, the partner can rub off more easily and therefore reach orgasm more easily. Place your hands on her hips, put your well- lubricated hand between her lips, and tell her how nice your hand feels between her legs. Get on your knees. Put your head between her buttocks, stick out your tongue and lick. Extend your tongue further to separate her lips. As you lick run your finger over her clitoris and stimulate her vaginal wall and G-spot with another. Lick, rub and stimulate until she reaches orgasm. Where to do this position: The partner receiving the cunnilingus must stand on the edge of a bed, or a raised surface so that his partner can then kneel down and be directly facing his buttocks. The ideal is a soft mattress, so as not to irritate the hands and knees. The benefits of oral doggy style: By switching back and forth between doggystyle penetration and doggystyle cunnilingus, you can take a break and "calm down" when you need it, while still making her orgasm orally! This position also has the advantage of being a perfect transition to anal. Indeed, during oral doggy style you can easily set the stage for rimming. Attention ! Going from the vulva to the anus does not present any risk, but the reverse is not true! Indeed, going from the anus to the vulva / vagina risks introducing bacteria that could cause infections. If you absolutely want to go back to cunnilingus after rimming, clean your mouth. The disadvantages of oral doggy style: Everything is reversed, so you have to take the hand. Be patient and don't worry if everything isn't perfect the first time. The accessories you will need: A bed or raised surface. Difficulty level: 1/5 The oral doggy style is a relatively easy position to implement. Orgasmo-Meter: 4/5 A variant of doggy style and cunnilingus, which allows you to discover new sensations and play with new areas of your partner's body: orgasm is within reach! GOLIATE Council: Put a pillow under his belly for more comfort. The oral doggy style is the ideal position to stimulate the perineum during your cunnilingus. You can use your fingers, your mouth or a sex toy at the same time to give more pleasure. Unlike the "classic" cunnilingus position, it is easier to use a vibrator in this position.