Alicia, 33 ans : « pour jouir, il faut que je domine » GOLIATE

Alicia, 33 years old: “to enjoy, I have to dominate”

At Goliate, we love to chat live with our community! For this reason, we collect your testimonies and share them. This allows everyone to change the way you see sex and have fun.

Today, Alicia is sharing her testimony. She talks about her dominant position in bed and what it implies in her sexual relationships.

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How to dominate in bed when you are a woman

Alicia, 33, loves to dominate in bed. While many men have been surprised by her go-getter nature, her current partner loves to be submissive. She tells us.

My profile is not common. My friends regularly tell me that they like to be submissive in bed. It's the opposite that excites me. I noticed this from the beginning of my sexual life. Very naturally (and because we still live in an old pattern that says that the man proposes and the woman disposes...), the guys took the lead.

They decided the position , sometimes took out their nails, and I, to get into the game, took on the air of a "fragile little thing" who likes to obey. But I was bored to death. It is generally claimed that the submissive dominates just as much since from the moment he accepts submission , imposes limits and opens certain doors, he is in control. Maybe. But I wanted to be the one who decides and directs, guides and surprises. Not the one who tacitly leads by taking less initiative.

But I wanted to be the one who decides and directs, guides and surprises.

Why do I like to dominate in bed?

I like to be a source of surprise

Women who prefer to be submissive appreciate the surprise effect. At least, that's what I hear very often. They never know what their partner is going to do or say. For them, it's a way to surrender to the sexual act, to stop thinking, to disconnect, to leave... Precisely, what I like is to observe my partner letting go... thanks to me! I like to surprise him, I like to be on top of him - the Andromache is my favorite position.

I choose the pace, I decide to speed up or slow down, to put a hand over his mouth or to close his eyes. He never knows what to expect , he is facing the unknown and he loves it. I am also into raw words , I like to tell him what I want, to give him orders. I take pleasure when I do it and pleasure in observing his reactions.

He never knows what to expect

Dominate, just to have more fun

This is how I get off

Behind my behavior, one could believe in a need for omnipotence. Also a fear of abandoning oneself, I have already thought about it. I do not believe that this is the case, because by acting as I do, I lose my footing. It is my way of experiencing pleasure, firstly because my partner loves it and it is contagious, then because directing the relationship allows me to go where I want (always with his consent) and therefore to live the moment fully.

At first, I imagined that I was not confident enough with the men I met. Even if it is a game, you have to feel safe to put on the submissive costume. But I have had long relationships, in which I felt good, but impossible to let myself be done. Maybe I am like that in bed because I am rather shy on a daily basis. Sex is a secret garden, a terrain on which I dare to express myself.

Domination bothers some men

I have confused some men

I'm lucky because my partner really likes it when I take the lead. We've found a balance. Sometimes he orders me to play the submissive, it always lasts a minute or two, and it's for the sole purpose of making me lose my temper, almost as if I had to "get revenge".

With my exes, things were different. I rarely met men who loved being submissive. They were confused by me! They didn't necessarily expect to dominate, but they hoped to take turns constantly. As a result, I experienced a lot of bestial relationships! Everyone wanted to take power. It made the act interesting and enjoyable, in a different tone. But I happened to come across men who quickly confided in me that they didn't like it . They felt like they had nothing to do. I can only understand, because I don't like this position myself. The main thing, in the end, is to find someone with whom it works on this point... We all have our preferences in bed.

The best accessories to dominate in bed

Alicia's testimony is very informative and reminds us that we can all live our sexuality in our own way, as long as it's ok on both sides.

If you want to get started in this practice, we have prepared a list of our 3 favorite accessories for you to start domination gently.

Like Alicia, would you like to share your testimony? Go to our Insta page in private message, we will be happy to talk about it anonymously of course!