At Goliate, we love engaging with our community live! That's why we collect and share your stories. This allows everyone to change their perspective on sex and enjoy it.
Today, Alicia shares her story. She talks about her dominant position in bed and what it means for her sexual relationships.
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Dominating in bed when you are a woman
Alicia, 33, loves to dominate in bed. While many men have been surprised by her go-getter nature, her current partner loves to be submissive. She tells us.
My profile isn't common. My friends regularly tell me that they like to be submissive in bed. It's the opposite that turns me on. I realized this early on in my sex life. Very naturally (and because we still live in an old paradigm that says the man proposes and the woman disposes...), guys took the lead.
They decided on the position , sometimes showing their nails, and I, to get into the game, took on the air of a "fragile little thing" who likes to obey. But I was bored to death. It is generally claimed that the submissive dominates just as much since from the moment he accepts submission , imposes limits and opens certain doors, he is in control. Perhaps. But I wanted to be the one who decides and directs, guides and surprises. Not the one who tacitly drives by taking less initiative.
But I wanted to be the one who decides and directs, guides and surprises.
Why do I like to dominate in bed?
I like to be a source of surprise
Women who prefer to be submissive appreciate the element of surprise. At least, that's what I hear very often. They never know what their partner is going to do or say. For them, it's a way to surrender to the sexual act, to stop thinking, to disconnect, to leave... What I like is watching my partner let go... thanks to me! I like to surprise him, I like to be on top of him - the Andromache is my favorite position.
I choose the pace, I decide to speed up or slow down, to put a hand over his mouth or close his eyes. He never knows what to expect , he is facing the unknown and he loves it. I am also into crude words , I like to tell him what I want, to give him orders. I enjoy doing it and enjoy watching his reactions.
He never knows what to expect
Dominate, just to have more fun
This is how I get off
Behind my behavior, one could believe in a need for omnipotence. Also a fear of abandoning oneself, I have already thought about it. I do not believe that this is the case, because by acting as I do, I lose my footing. It is my way of experiencing pleasure, firstly because my partner loves it and it is contagious, then because directing the relationship allows me to go where I want (always with his consent) and therefore to fully live the moment.
At first, I imagined I wasn't confident enough with the men I met. Even if it's a game, you have to feel safe to put on the submissive costume. But I've had long relationships, in which I felt good, but impossible to let myself go. Maybe I'm like that in bed because I'm rather shy on a daily basis. Sex is a secret garden, a terrain on which I dare to express myself.
Domination bothers some men
I have confused some men
I'm lucky because my partner really likes it when I take the lead. We've found a balance. Sometimes he orders me to play submissive, it always lasts a minute or two, and it's just to get me off my rocker, almost as if I needed to "get even."
With my exes, things were different. I rarely met men who loved being submissive. They were confused by me! They didn't necessarily expect to dominate, but they hoped to take turns constantly. As a result, I experienced a lot of bestial relationships! Everyone wanted to take power. It made the act interesting and enjoyable, in a different tone. But I sometimes came across men who quickly confided in me that they didn't like it . They felt like they had no business being there. I can only understand, because I myself don't like this position. The key, in the end, is to find someone with whom it clicks on this point... We all have our preferences in bed.
The best accessories for domination in bed
Alicia's story is very informative and reminds us that we can all experience our sexuality in our own way, as long as it's okay on both sides.
If you want to get started in this practice, we have prepared a list of our 3 favorite accessories to help you start domination gently.
- Anal relaxing gel : this gel is ideal if, through domination, you want your partner to try anal practice
- Aphrodisiac massage oil : to gently raise the temperature and prepare for a very hot moment
- The Double Pleasure Rabbit Stimulator : for increased pleasure for women and even men!
Like Alicia, would you like to share your story? Visit our Instagram page and send us a private message; we'd be happy to discuss it anonymously, of course!
