While cunnilingus is an erotic act and a source of pleasure, not all women are wild about it. It all depends on the partner, the moment, our perspective on the practice, and our insecurities. So, how can we let go and enjoy it? Here's some advice.
The secrets of good cunnilingus
Cunnilingus is an intimate act that can be a source of intense pleasure for many women. However, for some, letting go during this moment can be a challenge. In this article, we'll give you all the secrets for the best cunnilingus, and most importantly... how to let go to have the best time possible!
How to perform good cunnilingus?
To begin, we'll give you the basic rules to ensure you have an unforgettable time.
Feeling clean is super important during cunnilingus.
It's silly to say, but far from absurd. Many women fear cunnilingus for fear of not smelling good, of being "a little dirty," or sweaty. We live in a society that constantly chases away hair and bad odors, which is enough to freak out when it wasn't three minutes ago that we last showered.
The best solution, when you can't just casually take a shower before sex (and you really want to), is to drag your partner into the bathroom. Underwater, the pleasure is different, more sensual. You can even ask your partner to tease your genitals with the showerhead as foreplay...
And if not, small cleaning wipes in your handbag or even better, a wipe with a washcloth will be perfect for being 100% comfortable!
Think about yourself, to get maximum pleasure
To indulge in any sexual practice, it is good to awaken your little selfish side. Often, we do not take full advantage of it, as if it were unwelcome, as if we did not deserve this attention... Wrong. Let us dare to savor these few minutes of happiness and think of ourselves, just ourselves, of this crazy good that we feel, of this man who caresses our sex with his tongue or a stranger that we have fantasized about for ages... We are free to travel.
Guiding your partner during cunnilingus
What if we thought we weren't into cunnilingus when only a few clumsy moves on our partner's part kept us from the pleasure? We can guide him! As long as we don't redirect him, he'll think his practice suits us. However, there's no shame in not liking the way he does it; it doesn't call into question our love for him.
So, with both hands free, we can reposition our head, touch our penis to spread our lips differently, and so on. We can also use warm words to properly guide our partner during cunnilingus.
Yes, communication is key in these moments, so you have to dare to take the plunge!
Don't wait for a miracle
If there's one common mistake we make with orgasm, it's thinking about the result while forgetting to focus on the most important thing: our sensations! During cunnilingus, there's no point crossing your fingers and repeating to yourself, "I hope it works!" By trying to enjoy it, we put pressure on ourselves and miss out on the most enjoyable part. It's by emptying our minds and focusing on what we feel second by second that we'll take our pleasure by surprise!
On the other hand, it is clear that having good foundations such as knowing how to properly stimulate the clitoris is essential.
Tips for letting go during cunnilingus
Dare to go black!
Another complex : the light is too bright! We often put ourselves in our partner's shoes and visualize our genitals in close-up (not a pretty sight, we tell ourselves). However, all genitals are beautiful.
Sight is a sense that never stops during lovemaking and stimulates sexual desire. So, if we refuse to let our partner slide his nose between our legs , eyes wide open on our private parts, turning off the light is a first step that allows for surrender. A small candle will suffice, for a subdued atmosphere! And if you are already in the bathroom while reading these lines, note that nothing prevents you from washing in the dark, with a wisp of light coming from the next room.
Getting to know your partner
In any relationship, taking the time to get to know your partner is essential to building a strong and lasting foundation. This goes far beyond simply knowing each other's likes and dislikes. It's a deep exploration of each other's values, aspirations, fears, and dreams . By truly understanding who our partner is, we're able to create an authentic connection , anticipate each other's needs, and navigate life's challenges together.
This mutual understanding fosters trust, respect, and empathy—key elements for a fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Ultimately, knowing your partner means investing in the quality and longevity of the relationship.
So basically, it's not the first cunnilingus that counts, it's the ones that come after! By getting to know the other person (and letting yourself be known), you obviously get more pleasure.
For a good cunnilingus, listen to your body!
Listening to your body during intimate moments is essential for a fulfilling and self-respecting sexual experience . Our bodies send us clear signals about what gives us pleasure, what is uncomfortable, or what we need to feel safe.
By listening to these signals, we can better understand our desires, limits, and comfort zones. Ignoring these messages can lead to unsatisfying or even traumatic experiences. On the other hand, by paying attention to our bodies and communicating openly with our partners, we foster intimacy based on mutual respect, trust, and shared pleasure. It's an approach that values consent and authenticity, allowing each individual to experience their sexuality in a fulfilling and conscious way!
When you focus on your pleasure during cunnilingus, you clearly enjoy it more!
Our final tip for enjoying cunnilingus
There are plenty of ways to perform oral sex, but we clearly have one favorite position! And it's doggy style oral sex. If you want to learn more about this amazing position, check out our dedicated article on the subject: Why try oral doggy style?