If cunnilingus is an erotic act, a source of pleasure, not all women are crazy about it. It all depends on the partner, the moment, the vision we have of this practice and our complexes... So, how to let go and enjoy it? Advice.
The secrets of good cunnilingus
Cunnilingus is an intimate act that can be a source of intense pleasure for many women. However, for some, letting go during this moment can be a challenge. In this article, we give you all the secrets for the best cunnilingus, and above all… How to let go to have the best time possible!
How to perform good cunnilingus?
To begin, we will give you the basic rules to ensure you have an unforgettable time.
Feeling clean is super important during cunnilingus
It's silly to say, but far from absurd. Many women fear cunnilingus for fear of not smelling good, of being "a little dirty" or sweaty. We live in a society that constantly chases away hair and bad smells, enough to freak out when our last shower was not three minutes ago.
The best solution, when you can't just take a shower before a sex session (and you really want to), is to drag your partner into the bathroom. Underwater, the pleasure is different, more sensual. You can even ask your partner to tease your sex with the shower head as foreplay...
And if not, small cleaning wipes in your handbag or even better, a washcloth will be perfect to be 100% comfortable!
Think about yourself, to have maximum pleasure
To give in to any sexual practice, it is good to awaken your little part of selfishness. Often, we do not take full advantage of it, as if it were unwelcome, as if we did not deserve this attention... Wrong. Let us dare to savor these few minutes of happiness and think of ourselves, just of ourselves, of this crazy good that we feel, of this man who caresses our sex with his tongue or a stranger that we have fantasized about for ages... We are free to travel.
Guiding your partner during cunnilingus
What if we thought we weren't into cunnilingus when only a few clumsinesses on our partner's part kept us from pleasure? We can guide him! As long as we don't redirect him, he'll think that his practice suits us. However, there's no shame in not liking the way he does it, it doesn't call into question our love for him.
So, with our two free hands, we can reposition our head, touch our sex to spread our lips differently, and so on. We can also use hot words to properly guide our partner during cunnilingus.
Yes, communication is key in these moments, so you have to dare to take the plunge!
Don't wait for a miracle
If there is a common mistake, which we already make with orgasm, it is to think about the result while forgetting to concentrate on the most important thing: our sensations! During cunnilingus, there is no point in crossing your fingers and repeating to yourself "I hope it works!". By trying to like it, we put pressure on ourselves and we miss out on the most pleasant part. It is by emptying our minds and focusing on what we feel second after second that we will take our pleasure by surprise!
On the other hand, it is clear that having a good foundation, such as knowing how to properly stimulate the clitoris , is essential.
Tips for letting go during cunnilingus
Dare to go black!
Another complex : the light is a little too bright! We often put ourselves in our partner's place and visualize our sex in close-up (not a pretty sight, we tell ourselves). However, all sexes are beautiful.
Sight is a sense that is not idle during lovemaking and that stimulates sexual desire. So, if we refuse to let our partner slide his nose between our legs , eyes wide open on our private parts, turning off the light is a first step that allows abandonment. A small candle will suffice, for a subdued atmosphere! And if you are already in the bathroom while reading these lines, note that nothing prevents you from washing in the dark, with a trickle of light coming from the next room.
Getting to know your partner
In any relationship, taking the time to get to know your partner is essential to building a strong, lasting foundation. It goes far beyond simply knowing each other’s likes and dislikes. It’s a deep exploration of each other’s values, aspirations, fears, and dreams . By truly understanding who our partner is, we’re able to create an authentic connection , anticipate each other’s needs, and navigate life’s challenges together.
This mutual knowledge fosters trust, respect and empathy, key elements for a fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Ultimately, knowing your partner is investing in the quality and sustainability of the relationship.
So basically, it's not the first cunnilingus that counts, it's the ones that come after! By getting to know the other (and letting yourself be known), you obviously get more pleasure.
For a good cunnilingus, we listen to our body!
Listening to your body during intimate moments is essential for a fulfilling and self-respecting sexual experience . Our bodies send us clear signals about what gives us pleasure, what is uncomfortable or what we need to feel safe.
By listening to these signals, we can better understand our desires, our limits and our comfort zones. Ignoring these messages can lead to unsatisfying or even traumatic experiences. On the other hand, by paying attention to our bodies and communicating openly with our partners, we foster intimacy based on mutual respect, trust and shared pleasure. It is an approach that values consent and authenticity, allowing each individual to live their sexuality in a fulfilling and conscious way!
When you focus on your pleasure during cunnilingus, you clearly enjoy it more!
Our last tip for getting off during cunnilingus
There are many ways to do oral sex, but clearly, we have a favorite position! And it's doggy style in oral sex version. If you want to know more about this great position, check out our dedicated article on the subject: Why try oral doggy style?