DIRTY TALK : Le guide des débutant.e.s GOLIATE


According to an Australian study conducted in 2015 by Professor Peter Jonason and his team and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 92% of people questioned talk during sex. But what is Dirty Talk? What is it exactly?

Focus today on this practice that raises the temperature!

Dirty Talk: Definition

Dirty Talk refers to a practice of pronouncing more or less daring words or phrases during sexual intercourse. Even if initially the Dirty Talk is associated with exclusively raw words, the scientists through their study have identified 8 major themes allowing them to be categorized. And as you will see, there is something for everyone!

The 8 categories of Dirty Talk

1. First, we find the category of intimate ties. In other words, it is about the sentences pronounced during the act which have an affective link.

Examples: " I love you more than anything ! », « I find you really beautiful… », « I love making love with you ».

2. Second category, words or phrases called “reflexes”; these words spoken without our realizing them.

Examples: " Oh yes ! ", " Again ! Keep on going ! ", " It's good ! »

3. The third theme identified by the researchers concerns fantasies. As its name suggests, it is about verbally materializing our personal and/or common fantasies.

Examples: "Imagine if someone surprised us", "Imagine being watched fucking", "Imagine that there are two of us taking care of you".

4. Fourth category: encouragement. No need for a drawing, it's about the sentences you say to encourage your partner to continue what they have started.

Examples: “Please keep it up! », « Don't stop, it's perfect! »

5. In number 5, we find the instructions.

Examples: “Go harder! Faster ! », « Take me from behind »,

"Hang on to my hair"

6. The sixth theme concerns possession. These are phrases that are spoken in order to accentuate the feeling of belonging.

Examples: " You're mine ! ", " You belong to Me… "

7. The penultimate point refers to dominance and words that can sound like commands.

Examples: "Do Exactly What I Tell You", "Lick Me/Suck Me"

8. Finally, the last theme concerns submission. Unlike domination, this allows you to offer great freedom to your partner.

Examples: "Do what you want with my body", "Do what you want with me".

How to practice Dirty Talk correctly?

Before playing with words, it is essential to discuss them beforehand with your partner. You can schedule a time dedicated to this discussion by cutting off all sources of distraction (telephone, television, etc.) and talk openly about your affinities in this area. During a report, do not embark on an improvisation that could undermine this moment of sharing if you have not taken the time to discuss it.

Indeed, before embarking on this path, it is important to ensure that the desire is shared. This can be punctual or, on the contrary, be part of your long-term desires. Also, don't forget to discuss your respective limits, whether it's about the sentences or the words spoken.

While dirty talk can be arousing, it can also kill the urge if you don't use the words wisely. Once this framework is properly defined, you can let your imaginations do the rest.

The Dirty Talk in Sex Life

The power of words is sometimes underestimated. And while it can raise the temperature in bed (or elsewhere) during sex, it can also help raise arousal before the act. For example, nothing prevents you from sending sexts to your partner during the day, just before meeting them in the evening to give them a taste of what could await them when they get home.

Dirty talk also allows you to access a more liberated part of yourself, sometimes even wilder or even more animal if you decide to venture into the field of raw words. Whatever your personality, there will always be words that resonate with you more than others.

What if I don't have a particular affinity with Dirty Talk?

It is not an end in itself. It is not a sine qua non condition to live and share a moment of pleasure with someone.

Indeed, some people express their pleasure in ways other than words. It is also possible to communicate with your partner non-verbally: by breathing, moaning, looking or even by gestures. Don't worry if you don't have a particular affinity with this practice, you will always find a way to make your other half understand how much you appreciate this moment.

Precautions to take during the Dirty Talk

If there is one precaution to take when practicing dirty talk, it is to avoid falling into clichés or even disrespecting others. The practice requires desire (and as with everything in sexuality, the consent of one's spouse) and listening before and during intercourse. Do not hesitate either to make regular updates by organizing moments of discussion because, it is said too little, everyone's desires can evolve in one direction or another over time. And it's completely natural!

In addition, if certain fears or reluctance persist, you can very well start this practice gently, by drawing ideas from the category of intimate ties, reflex phrases or encouragement. When you feel more comfortable, you can take it up a notch and try other things if you want.

I hope these tips for Dirty Talk have answered your questions on the subject.

And don't forget: what matters above all is to be yourself!