According to a 2015 Australian study by Professor Peter Jonason and his team, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, 92% of people surveyed would talk during sex.
But what is Dirty Talk? What exactly is it?
Today, focus on this practice that makes the temperature rise!
Dirty Talk: Definition
Dirty talk refers to the practice of uttering more or less risqué phrases or words during sexual intercourse. Although initially associated with crude language, the scientists, through their study, identified eight major themes that allow them to be categorized.
And as you will see, there is something for everyone!
The 8 categories of Dirty Talk
Dirty Talk: Creating Intimate Connections
First, we find the category of intimate ties. In other words, these are the sentences spoken during the act that have an emotional connection.
Examples: “I love you more than anything!”, “I think you’re truly magnificent…”, “I love making love with you.”
Dirty Talk: “Reflex” Expressions
Second category, so-called “reflex” words or phrases; these words are spoken without us really being aware of them.
Examples: “Oh yes!”, “More! Keep going!”, “That’s good!”
Dirty Talk: Fantasies
The third theme identified by the researchers concerns fantasies. As its name suggests, this involves verbally materializing our personal and/or shared fantasies.
Examples: "Imagine if someone walked in on us," "Imagine someone watching us having sex," "Imagine there were two of us taking care of you."
Dirty Talk: encouragement
Fourth category: encouragement. No need for a drawing; these are the phrases you say to encourage your partner to continue what they've started.
Examples: “Please keep it up!” “Don’t stop, it’s perfect!”
Dirty talk: in instruction mode
In number 5 we find the instructions.
Examples: “Go harder! Faster!”, “Take me from behind”,
"Grab my hair"
Dirty Talk: Words to Own
The sixth theme concerns possession. These are phrases that are spoken to emphasize the feeling of belonging.
Examples: “You are mine!”, “You belong to me…”
Dirty Talk: Words to Dominate
The penultimate point refers to domination and words that can sound like orders.
Examples: “Do exactly as I tell you”, “Lick me/suck me”
Dirty Talk: To Submit
Finally, the last theme concerns submission . Unlike domination, this allows you to offer a great deal of freedom to your partner.
Examples: “Do what you want with my body”, “Do what you want with me”.
How to practice Dirty Talk correctly?
Before playing with words, it's essential to discuss it with your partner in advance. You can schedule a time dedicated to this discussion by cutting off all sources of distraction (phone, television, etc.) and talk openly about your affinities in this area. During sex, don't launch into improvisation, which could ruin this moment of sharing if you haven't taken the time to discuss it.
The Basics of Dirty Talk: Erotic Communication
Dirty talk can be used to express desires, fantasies, emotions, or thoughts that are sexual in nature. It can help increase arousal, strengthen the emotional connection between partners, and enhance the overall sexual experience.
Before embarking on this path, it's important to ensure that the desire is shared. This may be a one-off or, on the contrary, part of your long-term goals. Also, don't forget to discuss your respective limits, whether it's regarding sentences or spoken words.
Dirty Talk Basics: Consent and Comfort
As with any sexual practice, consent and comfort between partners are essential. Some people may find dirty talk exciting and stimulating, while others may find it uncomfortable or offensive. It's important to discuss these boundaries with a partner before engaging in this type of communication.
Dirty Talk Basics: Using It in Various Contexts
Dirty talk can be used in a variety of contexts, including during sex, foreplay, sexting (sending sexually suggestive text messages), or even as a form of erotic roleplay.
While dirty talk can be a turn-on, it can also be a turn-off if you don't use words wisely. Once this framework is properly defined, you can let your imagination do the rest.
Dirty Talk in Sex Life
The power of words is sometimes underestimated. And while it can raise the temperature in bed (or elsewhere) during sex, it can also help build excitement before sex.
For example, there's nothing stopping you from sexting your partner during the day , just before meeting up in the evening, to give them a taste of what might await them when they get home.
Dirty talk also allows you to access a more liberated, sometimes even wilder, or even more animalistic, part of yourself if you decide to venture into the realm of crude words. Whatever your personality, there will always be words that resonate with you more than others.
What if I don't have a particular affinity for Dirty Talk?
It's not an end in itself. It's not a prerequisite for experiencing and sharing a moment of pleasure with someone.
Indeed, some people express their pleasure in ways other than words. It is even possible to communicate with your partner non-verbally: through breathing, moans, gaze, or even gestures.
You can observe what happens to your partner when you caress her clitoris or when you are in a particular position like the Missionary.
Don't worry if you don't have a particular affinity for this practice, you will always find a way to make your other half understand how much you appreciate this moment.
Where to start with Dirty Talk?
For example, you can put yourself in a superb, very sexy setting to gently start the Dirty Talk: pose quietly to give a massage with our aphrodisiac Massage Oil , and start gently with a few sweet words to see if it suits you to try.
Precautions to take when talking dirty
If there is one precaution to take when practicing Dirty Talk, it is to avoid falling into clichés or even disrespect towards others .
The practice requires desire (and as with everything in sexuality, the consent of your partner) and listening before and during intercourse. Do n't hesitate to provide regular updates by organizing discussion sessions, because, as we rarely say, each person's desires can evolve in one direction or another over time. And that's completely natural!
Additionally, if you still have some concerns or reservations, you can start this practice gently, drawing on ideas from the categories of intimate connections, reflexive phrases, or encouragement. As you feel more comfortable, you can move up a notch and try other things if you wish.
I hope these tips on Dirty Talk have answered any questions you may have had on the subject.
And remember: what matters most is being yourself!
