Simulating orgasm is pretending to reach seventh heaven . It must be said that this should be the purpose of sexual intercourse . If you have already simulated, tell yourself that you are not a rare case.
The survey published by the sex toy brand Amorelie in 2022 states that simulation concerns 49% of French people. 67% of them are women. Why pretend to feel pleasure when you don't? What are the consequences of faking an orgasm ?
Why do we choose to simulate during certain reports?
Researchers have tried to identify the causes of orgasm simulation . But erotic pleasures are difficult subjects to talk about. Finding simulators who agree to testify is not easy. But here is some information that might clear things up for you.
Differences between men and women in orgasm simulation
It is often said that simulating sexual orgasm is a woman's business. However, this is not entirely true. An Ifop study for the Online Séduction site in 2019 revealed that 42% of men surveyed have already simulated. The question that arises is: how is this possible?
It must be said that orgasm is always associated with ejaculation in men . This is a mechanical proof that is difficult to simulate. But that's not entirely true. A man can reach ecstasy long before ejaculation. More precisely, he can have orgasm without having ejaculated and vice versa.
For women, pretending is rather simple, since everything happens in appearance. To simulate, the recipe is simple: reproduce certain common reactions linked to orgasm, including cries and muscle contractions.
Psychological and relational reasons
First of all, it should be noted that orgasm is characterized by a peak of pleasure felt after stimulation of the erogenous zones . For women, the source of enjoyment can vary since the female organism is quite complex.
So know that orgasm can be clitoral . It was caused by stimulation of the clitoris. If it is triggered by penetration, it is called a vaginal orgasm . Some women also manage to climax following simple caresses or even with anal penetration.
But the female orgasm can also be mixed, both clitoral and vaginal. Finally, there are those who orgasm through g-spot stimulation. According to researchers, orgasm simulation has psychological reasons such as:
- the desire to protect one's partner and not hurt them,
- the desire to please or make one’s partner happy,
- the desire to end an unpleasant sexual relationship,
- not feeling sexual desire,
- the inability to let go.
But orgasm simulation can also have relational reasons . Indeed, for some people, it is a way of expressing their feelings. They let themselves be caught up in the excitement and love felt during the sexual act . The fake orgasm therefore does them good. But it also happens that it is linked to fear of judgment from others. The simulation is therefore orchestrated out of fear or following a feeling of insecurity.
Simulating is not great for our relationships as a couple
Is simulating an orgasm cheating? If you are asking yourself this question, it is because you feel guilty for having done this. In reality, faking orgasms is not a good solution. The consequences of such a decision can be really unpleasant for you and your partner.
Impact on trust and communication in the couple
In the majority of cases, the sexual act is supposed to give you intense pleasure. It happens through mutual desire. Thus, feelings of pleasure should be shared. Even if sometimes, we can also have maximum pleasure by practicing sex in a gentler way ( slow sex , circumclusion , etc.)
If you are faking for the sole purpose of shortening this intimate moment , you need to ask yourself questions. It is the same if you simulate out of constraint with the sole aim of meeting your partner's expectations.
In these cases, the simulation of orgasm can practically harm the development of your relationship. It indeed indicates a lack of communication and trust. You prefer to live in illusion instead of recognizing that there is a problem.
Long-term effects on sexual satisfaction
Looking for a satisfying and enjoyable sex life ? This is simply impossible if you always pretend to feel the pleasure that doesn't exist. Sexual relations will become a source of frustration for you. Over time, you will end up feeling cheated and jaded, especially when the pretense is recurring.
What if we stopped pretending?
You should know first of all that orgasm is not an obligation. So, stop pretending! That said, for your intimate moments to bring you pleasure , you must start by being honest. Tell your partner the truth! After all, sexuality should not be a taboo subject in a relationship. On the contrary, it is the glue that will strengthen your relationship. So here is what you will need to do:
- Express your expectations and fantasies so that your next sexual relationship is perfect,
- Discuss together if you have a problem with sexual dysfunction.
Attention ! You need to approach the subject tactfully so as not to hurt your partner's self-esteem. He must not feel that he is a bad move. Avoid talking about your past experiences or making comparisons. We need to talk about the present problem, and in a positive way.
How to satisfy yourself and your other half to stop pretending?
Here are some tips that will allow you to fully enjoy your intimate moments and avoid faking an orgasm .
Importance of knowing your own body
Knowing your genitals , your erogenous zones and your source of pleasure is important. But you also need to talk about it with your partner, hence the need to communicate well. He will then know how to give you pleasure .
You should also remember that vaginal penetration is the last stage of a sexual act. The intimate moment should begin with foreplay and games. They allow you to optimize desire and level of excitement. They also promote lubrication of the vagina , which facilitates penetration.
Role of toys and sexual aids
You should also know that there are different ways to trigger orgasm. Instead of simulating, it is better to resort to these techniques. One of them is to use adult toys or sex toys. They allow you to achieve different erotic pleasures.
For example, you can test the clitoral stimulator and vibrator, to do this, you will love The Amazing ! It will allow you to reach ecstasy in no time. There are also products designed to remedy the vaginal lubrication problem and it is strongly recommended to use natural lubricant . This effectively prevents orgasm and female ejaculation.
Asking an expert for sex aids is also a good idea. His advice and tips will allow you to increase your feelings of pleasure in bed.
So, ready to be 100% sincere with your partners?
Faking orgasm isn't really cheating in some cases. But nothing beats honesty and sincerity. Over time, faking will eventually deteriorate your sexual satisfaction. It can also harm your relationship .
In addition, being sincere with your partner means letting go . The inability to achieve orgasm can actually be caused by:
- a psychological blockage,
- a lack of self-confidence,
- a communication problem.
If you want to have a fulfilling sex life , focus on sincerity! Dare to talk about it with your partner so that you no longer have to simulate an orgasm !